Behind Blue Eyes
by DoctorMerlinReid
Summary: 'No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man behind blue eyes' - Behind Blue Eyes by The Who. Rin cracks under the pressure of being fated to a life of being the bad man and being hated for it.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: As always, I should be focusing on the works that I currently have posted and uncomplete, but this idea came to me and won't go away and I'm feeling angsty, so I'm writing it anyways. Also, I wrote this in like two hours, so there's a good chance that there are a ton of errors in here, so sorry. If you haven't heard Behind Blue Eyes by the Who, then I recommend listening to it because it's really a beautiful song. Read, review, and enjoy!**

 **See end author's note for any WARNINGS**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Blue Exorcist**

 _No one knows what it's like_

 _To be the bad man_

 _To be the sad man_

 _Behind blue eyes_

"Demon." Suguro sneered as Rin walked past, unconsciously shifting his body to shield the slightly shaking Konekomaru behind him. Rin did his best to ignore him, to block out the sounds of the taunts, and sit in his seat without causing a scene. It seemed like luck was on his side that day because he managed to sit down without getting in a fight or even launching his own retaliatory verbal response.

That didn't stop Suguro from continuing his sneering comments and cruel slurs. Rin, used to the words after almost a month of the others knowing that he was a Satan spawn, was able to pretty successfully ignore the words for the time being. He knew that his brain was picking up every insult, every vicious comment and he knew that the words would torture him in his sleep and when he was alone, but for now he could filter them out. He couldn't, however, ignore Konekomaru's harsh, panicked whisper, "Stop it, Bon! Don't provoke a demon!"

Rin's jaw clenched and he just barely stopped his tail from swishing angrily. He didn't want to scare Konekomaru anymore than he already did. Knowing the other teen, Suguro would definitely find a way to make that Rin's fault and would just use it as more fodder for his verbal attacks.

Then again, Suguro's words were preferable to the girls. Shiemi and Izumo ignored Rin, turning their heads away and sitting together even though they didn't know each other all that well. Shiemi shook like Konekomaru shook, hands clenching the opposite arm's wrist like she thought she was hiding them in her usual kimonos. Without the long, wide sleeves of the kimonos, it just made her look shy and scared and vulnerable, all things that Rin knew that Shieme hated being. Those were things that she fought her hardest to eradicate in herself so she could be of use to people. At least, that was what she'd told Rin when she was still confiding in him on things.

Didn't they see that they were hurting him? Couldn't they see that every word, every blatant dismissal, every terrified tremble was like a knife straight through his heart? Were they so blinded by his pointed ears and long canines and fluffy tail that they couldn't see the sad, hurting boy underneath?

Rin trudged back to his dorm room, tail swinging limply behind him, as despondent as he was. He knew that he'd be going home to a completely empty dorm hall. His brother was almost never home anymore, doing his homework or work in the library or in the cram school classrooms over doing them at home where Rin might be.

Rin didn't think that Yukio was purposefully avoiding him or trying to stay away. Although, he wouldn't blame his brother if he was doing it on purpose. To be honest, he didn't blame any of the others for their actions either. They might be unintentionally – or maybe intentionally – hurting him and flaying him open every day, but he deserved it. He was just a no-good demon. He was worthless and dangerous and stupid and not cut out for the world he found himself in. How could he blame the others for only seeing that much of him?

How could he blame the others for not understanding that he was half-human too? How could be blame them for being scared or angry or vengeful? They were normal. They fit in. They didn't understand what it was like to be born evil. They didn't understand what it was like to be born destined for sadness and rejection. They couldn't see past the bright, Satan blue of his eyes.

 _No one knows what it's like_

 _To be hated_

 _To be fated_

 _To telling only lies_

When Rin got to cram school, there wasn't anyone there. He normally arrived late, or at least he was normally the last one there. He didn't feel like he'd come there any earlier than usual. Checking his phone, he saw that the time was actually a little later than he normally came. The nightmares that had been keeping him up must have given him a sense of lethargy. Or maybe his body subconsciously knew that he really, really didn't want to be there with the rest of the students, being hated and mocked.

Shrugging his shoulders, Rin sat down in his usual chair and pulled out his homework from regular school. Maybe there was something that made the rest of them a little late. He was sure they'd show up eventually. On that vein of thought, Rin got to working on his math homework, squinting at the instructions that only served to confuse him more than actually instruct him. As per usual. Sighing, Rin dove into the work anyways, knowing that he'd get it wrong either way.

Sometime later, Rin blinked blurry eyes open. He must have fell asleep at some point or another while he was working. Glancing at his paper, Rin grimaced. He'd barely gotten through half of the first page before he'd conked out. Fantastic.

An angry stomp caused him to jerk to attention. One of the cram school instructors was stood before him, thin face pinched with anger. She must have been the one to wake him. Her lips pursed and her nose wrinkled before she spat out, "What on _earth_ are you doing here sleeping like some slob? Does cram school mean nothing to you?"

Rin blinked, hastily standing up. He ignored the way she recoiled with his movements and answered her, voice still slightly slurred with sleep, "Uh, of course it means something to me, sensei. When I came here, no one else had gotten here yet, so I figured that I'd just work on some homework and I must have fallen asleep. Sorry sensei." Looking around curiously, Rin realized that there was still no one else in the classroom. Frowning slightly and pulling in his lower lip, Rin asked, "Sensei? Where _are_ the other students?"

The woman sneered at him, shaking her head in anger, "Of course. Of course you forgot that your lessons were moved to another classroom today. Pitiful."

Rin was already shaking his head in denial as she was speaking. He responded the moment she stopped, "I wasn't told that we were going to be moved to another classroom. I-,"

She didn't let him finish, however, barking, "Don't give me those excuses. Maybe if you didn't fall asleep so easily, you'd hear when teachers tell you important things."

"It's the tru-," Rin began, only to be interrupted again.

She snarled, "Don't lie to me, demon! I don't take well to liars. You've missed the class by now. You might as well go home. And don't expect anyone to tell you what you missed. Even though you can't afford to skip any classes with that deadline coming up." Shaking her head once more in disgust, the woman left Rin alone in the empty classroom, her words still ringing in his head.

Lie. Demon. Deadline. Liar. Excuses. Demon. Demon. Demon.

What did he expect? He was a filthy demon. It wasn't like he was capable of telling the truth. It's not like he didn't pay as much attention as he possibly could in class because getting a good grade was the difference between life and death for him. It's not like he asked the teachers for extra work so he could get the concepts down fast enough to move onto something else. It's not like he was spending all of his free time working with Shura to get his powers under control. It's not like no one wants to talk to him to tell him that class was moved that day. No, none of that could possibly be true because he was just a demon and demons didn't understand the concept of taking responsibility and telling the truth.

But, it's not like he could ask her to understand. She wasn't a demon. She didn't understand what it was like to be hated for being born. To be hated for looking different. To be hated for being himself for once in his life. She didn't understand what it was like to be fated as a liar and a cheat. To never be trusted. To never be understood.

 _But my dreams_

 _They aren't as empty_

 _As my conscience seems to be_

Rin methodically folded the flour into the batter he was mixing. His eyes were sightlessly staring out the window, musing on the dream he'd had that night.

It wasn't a long dream and it wasn't particularly detailed, but it was still beautiful. He'd watched the whole thing from off to the side, like he was a coal tar floating by or something. There had been a beautiful restaurant. The outside had been cheerfully decorated with bright paints and gorgeously sculpted and grown flower boxes outside of the window.

The inside of the restaurant was just as cheerful and warm-colored. The walls were a rich, sunburnt orange and the tables and chairs were a pale beech wood. The floors were hand painted, glazed tiles with various foods painted on pale yellow backgrounds. There were plants crunched into corners and draped over the cash register and centered elegantly on every table.

The seats were full with people Rin recognized – a whole long table in the center had all of the monks, Shiro seated at the head of the table with Yukio on his right and Kuro balanced on his head. The tables surrounding the center one were filled with small groups – the Kyoto trio at one table, Izumo, Paku, and Shiemi at another, Mephisto and Amaimon chatting at yet another. All of them were smiling and laughing and chatting.

Silence fell as a figure stepped out from the kitchen and Rin looked to see himself, silly chef's apron and hat encasing his figure. Most importantly, there were no demonic features present. He had plates of food balanced on both his arms and his tail and his head. The Rin in the dream looked up at the sudden silence before grinning and announcing that the food was here. The people in the restaurant started clapping and whistling as he put out the plates with a slight blush and a happy smile stretched across his face. The dream had ended in that moment of bliss and Rin had immediately moved silently down to the kitchen, his sanctuary.

His dream had been a neat little compilation of everything he wanted – dream of – in this life. He wished he could be a chef like he had dreamed of being since that first time someone told him his food was good. He wished his father – his real one, never Satan – was still alive. He wished he wasn't a demon. He wished that his friends still cared for him and would spend time with him and support him.

Despite the fact that he knew that these were foolish, hopeless dreams that would never get him anywhere, Rin knew that he'd never stop dreaming them. They were the only things that kept him going. The thought that maybe, _maybe_ there was a chance that even one small portion of those dreams could come true got him through every day and convinced him to study his exorcist books and allowed him to put on a fake smile for the people around him who weren't really looking.

He might be empty inside, hollowed out and torn down by the people he'd called friends and the demon blood coursing through his veins. He might be a monster, blue fire raging out of him at any provocation and demons slaughtered beneath his merciless blows. But he still had dreams. He would always have his dreams.

 _I have hours, only lonely_

 _My love is vengeance_

 _That's never free_

Rin was alone. That wasn't particularly surprising. There were a lot of times that he was generally alone. Although, normally Kuro at least would stay with him, small horns butting up against Rin's side every time he started to drift into caustic, harmful thoughts. Kuro wasn't there today, though. He'd gone with Yukio on a mission that needed a Cat Sith but didn't need a dangerous Satan-spawn. At least Kuro had fought to convince Yukio (through Rin's translations) to let Rin come, but in the end, Rin had convinced Kuro to just go with Yukio. People were in danger the longer Rin stalled and he didn't want anyone getting hurt because he'd feel lonely.

For some reason, he couldn't convince himself to do anything but sit on the roof of the dorm building, clouds scuttling across his vision and wind rushing along his skin. His eyes drifted shut as the silence surrounded him, cutting him off from the rest of the world and crushing him, slowly, completely.

Shooting into a sitting position, Rin gasped for breath that wasn't coming. Reflexive tears came to his eyes as he struggled to breathe through the panic clouding his brain and blurring his vision. For a brief moment, he was the only one there, alone in a cruel and cold world that would never allow him to feel joy. He was alone in a crowd of people. He was alone at every moment of every day and he'd never stop being lonely.

Rin hissed as something scratched up through his wrist. There was a dark rock by his hand. In his panic, his hand had slipped over the sharp edge, blood welling around the cut. Gasping for breath that was finally coming, Rin realized that the pain of the cut had grounded him. He watched in mild horror – mild fascination – as the blood leaked determinedly out of the cut on his wrist. It was right underneath his thumb, cutting through a spot that was just skin and bone on the very side of his wrist. Luckily it had missed anything important and didn't seem to have been bad enough to have gouged at his bone or something. Even as he watched, the cut was healing, sealing up from the bottom and moving towards the top of the cut, skin knitting back together with a sickening sort of internal adhesive.

It was probably bad to hate his enhanced healing. But he did. He hated it with every fiber in his being. He hated it with every healed cut, with every healed bone, with every healed bruise. He felt like there was a part of him being denied every time a bruise healed within minutes of appearing. There was something about bleeding, about letting red blood escape that made Rin feel accepted.

His blood was like everyone else's. He had the blood of a human running through his veins. It felt like every time his healing stopped the blood flow his demonic side was hiding away any bit of humanity that might have survived his awakening. It felt like his demonic abilities were sealing his humanity back inside where others couldn't see it and finally accept him. It was like his own body was betraying him.

Angry with his life, with the loneliness, with his stupid powers, Rin smashed his arm, his leg, his hand against the rock, blood running down his arms and drying even as the cuts sealed over and the bruises went calmly, quickly through their stages.

When Yukio found Rin several hours later, covered in blood, the first thing he said was, "What did you do?!" Rin thought that it was pretty bad that he was starting to wish he was alone again.

 _No one knows what it's like_

 _To feel these feelings_

 _Like I do_

 _And I blame you_

Frustration swept through Rin as all three candles lit when he only wanted two of them to. The frustration lit itself as a literal flame inside Rin and that flame swept out in front of him, decimating the candles, leaving only waxy smudges on the floor.

He let out a harsh breath and tried valiantly to stop the tears pooling in his eyes. He wiped roughly at the tears, cursing himself for his weakness. For his inability to get this stupid task right. Cursing himself for being himself.

The tears didn't stop with that harsh swipe at his eyes and he punched the floor in anger. He couldn't even take this much! He was such a pitiful, pathetic, waste of space.

Shura had run in at the sound of the slam and her eyes widened at the sight of Rin crying on the floor with the leftovers of candles entirely melted in front of him. Rin watched as she winced slightly, running a hand over her ponytail and licking her lips. She crouched down in front of him, expression unbearably sympathetic, "Look, Rin. I know I told ya that ya needed to get this worked out fast, but there's a limit to the amount ya should do in a day. And I think you've reached yer limit a long time ago. You'll get it tomorrow, but ya should leave it alone for the rest of today."

"I can get it!" Rin asserted stubbornly, still trying to stop the tears and work past the lump lodged in his throat.

"I know ya can get it." Shura said, putting a hand out as if to rest it on his shoulder, but pulling back before it made contact. She continued, "But ya don't have to get it today."

"I _know_ I don't have to, but I want to. I _can_." Rin argued.

Shura sighed, "Kid, yer just going to tire yerself out. I know ya feel like this has to be done now, but-,"

Rin interrupted her, voice hard, "Actually, you don't what how I feel. You don't know and you can't know, so don't try to know. You aren't trying to learn everything you can about exorcism in six months because if you don't you'll die. You aren't some worthless demon scum. You aren't hated by literally _everyone_. You don't have uncontrollable powers that you could easily kill everyone you love with. So you don't know how I feel. You can't know how I feel. Stop assuming that you do! Stop patronizing me! Stop looking at me like I'm some pitiful little creature! I can do this! And I'm going to! So just get out and let me do it!" When Shura didn't move, eyes wide and hand held slightly over her chest above the seal that held her sword, Rin shouted louder, pupils going red and flames erupting around him, " _Get out!_ "

She scrammed then, turning and quickly fleeing out the way she came, though Rin knew that she'd just settle right outside the door. She wasn't allowed to go farther than the next room over when he was practicing using his powers. It was one of the many constrictions he'd been living under.

Rin felt bad for scaring her like he did. He'd just… gotten angry. He'd lost control. Surprise, surprise. He hated his flames. He hated the blue that still haloed him and cast unnaturally tinted shadows on the walls around him. He hated the horns of blue flame that lit up his blue-tinted hair. He hated the color blue. He hated Satan.

That demon was the reason that he was forced to live this broken, shattered, lonely existence. He was the one who had committed the crimes that Rin was currently paying for. Rin hated his father and hated the way that the demon had fawned off all of his curses and his legacy onto an unsuspecting, unknowing Rin. In truth, though, the only one that could really be to blame was Rin himself. He was the one who let Satan into Father Fujimoto. He was the one who unsheathed the Kurikara. It was him. It was all his fault. He was the one to blame.

 _No one bites back as hard_

 _On their anger_

 _None of my pain and woe_

 _Can show through_

Eyes closing tightly, Rin bit harshly on his lower lip, mouth flooding with the copper taste of blood. He would not respond. He would not get angry. He would focus on the pain of his healing lip and not on the accusations being spat at him from a furious Suguro.

At this point, Rin wasn't even sure what Suguro was blaming him for. Rin likely wasn't even present for whatever it was. It was probably still his fault anyways.

In the past, if Suguro had been accusing him of something that Rin didn't even know a thing about, Rin would have been stood up and screaming right back in the dual-toned haired teen's face. He'd have been waving his arms around and unconsciously baring his fangs and fighting to keep his tail from lashing right out of his pants.

Now? Now he was too tired. He'd been working himself to the bone doing school assignments and cram school assignments and extra assignments to prepare himself and Shura's power controlling lessons. He'd had little to no time to sleep and that had been interrupted by his urges to cook and by vicious nightmares that tore at what little hope was left in his mind. If he got into an argument now, he'd let his flames out. Someone could get hurt. At the least, he'd terrify poor Konekomaru and Shiemi. At the most, someone would be hospitalized.

So he needed to bite back his instinctual urge to defend himself and fight back in this argument.

At the same time, though, he didn't want to worry Shura or maybe Yukio if he even cared. He knew that Shura at least would be worried if he didn't react in some way or another. He couldn't show his pain and worry the only person who probably cared for him. Though, after that little incident with the candles the other day, it was questionable whether she cared for him or not. Either way, he wasn't going to worry her unnecessarily.

So Rin put on one of his usual blinding (distracting) smiles and asked innocently, "I don't really remember doing that. Is there anything I can do to make up for it?"

His words sent Suguro off on another tirade of some sort or another, but Shura gave him a small, hesitant smile at his actions, so Rin figured his act work. Then again, he'd been hiding his pain, pulling his punches, for a long, long time.

 _When my fist clenches, crack it open_

 _Before I use it and lose my cool_

 _When I smile, tell me some bad news_

 _Before I laugh and act like a fool_

 _If I swallow anything evil_

 _Put your finger down my throat_

 _If I shiver, please give me a blanket_

 _Keep me warm, let me wear your coat_

Rin shook as he stared out at the battlefield. He might not have finished the exorcist exam and officially become the Order's weapon, but he was certainly filling the role unofficially quite well. As his exam grew closer, the Order started sending him out on little missions with only Shura as his handler and backup.

This mission had been worse than usual. There was a field of dead demons in front of him. They were all charred, blue flames licking over the edges of the ones that were still whimpering and twitching with pain. All he could see were dead. He did this. He killed every single one of them. He really was a monster. A weapon. Dangerous. Deadly. Monster. Freak. _Demon_.

A hand on his shoulder startled him. He whirled around and tripped over a large carcass at his feet, falling to the ground and crushing something that exploded in a cloud of black ash. Huge broken eyes with dark bags stared up at Shura. There was something immensely sad in her expression as she backed up a step or two with her hands raised to show that she wasn't carrying any weapons. When Rin started calming down, his heart slowing and his eyes going unfocused, she spoke, "We should head back to yer dorm. Yer gonna need a shower." He didn't really understand what she was saying. She let out a little huff – maybe a sigh, maybe something else – before she leaned over and gently got a hand behind Rin's back, slowly helping him to his feet, projecting all of her movements.

When she got him to his feet, he finally spoke, "They're all dead."

The look Shura gave him told him that she understood everything he meant with those words, but all she said was, "Ya did yer mission well. The Grigori should be happy."

Rin blinked big, sad eyes at her and whispered, "They're all dead because of _me_."

Shura grimaced, pushing lightly against his back to get him to move away. He didn't budge, staring back out over the field of dead again. These were demons breathing their last breaths. These were _his kind_. He was a demon and they were demons and he was killing them.

He'd killed demons before, but this was different. This was a _slaughter_. The demons didn't have a chance against his blue flames, especially after so long working on controlling them and increasing his fine motor control over them.

The demons hadn't even been threatening anyone. There weren't any villages nearby and no one had even reported the demon nest. It just so happened that an exorcist had come across the clearing and realized that they couldn't take on the horde of demons themselves. And then the Grigori had set their monster weapon – Rin – on the group of innocents that hadn't even had a chance to fight back before they were brought down with a slash of blue fire and sharp sword.

Shura sighed and grabbed her hoodie off from around her waist, settling it around Rin's shoulders and steering his suddenly limp body back towards the door they'd used to transport to the field. She gently smoothed her fingers through his hair and whispered reassuring words. None of them made it through. As she watched, the little bit of fire that had continued to light Rin's eyes slowly flickered and disappeared.

 _No one knows what it's like_

 _To be the bad man_

 _To be the sad man_

 _Behind blue eyes_

Rin didn't need to look in a mirror to know what his eyes looked like. He knew that they were that hated color of blue. He knew that they were broken and dark and _sad_. He knew that there was evil and hatred and danger hidden in those depths.

He didn't need to look in a mirror to know that what he was doing was the right thing to do. It was the best course of action. He was a demon. He couldn't be saved. No one could possibly understand. This was the only option.

He took a step forward and plunged off his lonely, lonely roof.

 **Author's Note: So, the warnings are: blood, suicidal ideology, suicide attempt, intense self-hatred. I currently plan on just leaving the fic like this, but if I get any reviews saying that you want a fix-it chapter, then I'll happily comply. Just let me know. And let me know what you think of the fic overall – I haven't written anything this angsty before. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: You guys are so sweet! I honestly wasn't really expecting much of a response, so this was amazing! And, since all of you requested a fix-it chapter, here we go. I hope that I get everyone's wishes satisfied with this chapter. It's going to be from Shura's point of view, just so you know. Alrighty, read, review, and enjoy!**

 **Responses to Guest Reviews:**

 **Guest – Thanks for the amazing review!**

 **Guest – I'll make sure that I have Yukio's reaction in here! Thanks for taking the time to review!**

 **Blue Banana – Haha, same. Rin angst especially is my lifeblood. I definitely love the suggestion! I probably won't do the whole kit and caboodle, but I'll definitely put some in there. Like, I totally agree with you that it's unrealistic that he would just forgive them. That kind of hurt takes a long time to heal, if it ever does. Thank you for the absolutely beautiful review!**

 **WARNINGS IN THE END AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

SSSSSS

Shura almost turned herself over, laughing uproariously at something Yukio had just said. His ears burned red at the tips, glasses glinting and eyes squinting. He was adorably childish when he got angry. Sometimes, if she got him mad enough, he'd stomp his leg and cross his arms. It was hilarious.

Any hilarity she was feeling plummeted when a small black form tore into the cram school teacher's lounge. Some of the other teachers swore and pulled their legs out of the way, desperately sweeping their belongings out of the way of whatever it was that just tore into the room. Yukio had his gun out before anyone could even blink, Shura's sword pulled out not even a second later.

Shura let out a sigh of relief when she realized that it was just Kuro. She reached down to scratch between his ears, asking softly, "Hey Kuro, what're ya doing here? Ya don't leave yer dorm often."

Before she could pet between those soft, adorable little ears, though, Kuro reached up and sunk a claw into her finger. Shura cursed, shaking her finger loose and sucking on the wound, eyes narrowed at the frantic familiar in front of her. Yukio adjusted his glasses, frown steadily growing, "I've never seen him do that before. He seems rather upset. What's wrong, Kuro?"

His only response was desperate mewling, Kuro crying out and ramming his small horns into their shins. When neither Shura nor Yukio moved, Kuro let out a yowl before digging one who paw full of claws into Yukio's shin and then unlatching himself and tearing out of the room, yowls being the only indication of where he went. Shura couldn't even find it in herself to laugh at Yukio's misfortune as the two shared a look before tearing out of the teacher's lounge after the small demon.

They easily caught up to the still yowling cat and they followed it out of the cram school and off towards the side of school campus. It wasn't long before the two exorcists realized where they were going – the old, abandoned boy's dormitory. Shura swallowed roughly. The only one who was in that dorm was Rin. Was Rin okay?

Glancing over at Rin's brother, Shura realized that he'd come to the same conclusion as her about this having something to do with Rin, but the stony expression on his face made her think that maybe he was blaming Rin for whatever was happening, not wondering if he was hurt by it like she was. It was a sad day when a random trainer was more concerned for someone's life than their own twin brother. Then again, the two had always had a rather complicated relationship. It wasn't that surprising that there was some bad blood and mistrust mixed in there. She would have been more worried if there wasn't. Honestly, though, at this point it was getting a little old. Yukio needed to grow up and realize that he was the only thing that was keeping the two apart. She didn't know why he felt the need to distance himself so much, but it was only hurting the two of them. Boys were so stupid.

Panting slightly, Shura slid to a stop to avoid smashing into Yukio, who had stopped and was shaking, staring at something in front of him. Glancing upwards slightly, Shura realized that they'd made it to the abandoned dorm. Wondering what it was that had Yukio so unsettled, Shura pushed him to the side slightly, craning around him for a better look.

She immediately wished she hadn't.

She distantly heard Yukio getting sick in the bushes near the edges of the building, but she couldn't even muster that much of a response. She mildly realized that she was going into shock. The only thing that broke her out of the stupor she was quickly spiraling into was the feeling of sharp little horns slamming into the side of her leg, followed by a quick swipe of claws. Shura shook her head, ponytail swinging, and ran shaking hands over her face before kneeling down in the grass, unheeding of the blood staining her knees and seeping into the tips of her shoes.

She pushed nervous, shaking fingers against the underside of Rin's neck, against the underside of his jaw. There wasn't anything there. There wasn't anything there! Pushing her fingers harder up against the spot, she finally felt a tiny flutter. The relief almost knocked her back, body shuddering with the release of adrenalin.

Quickly, efficiently, Shura started pressing her hands to any of the large gashes that she could see, trying to keep in the blood. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a form standing immobile next to the building. Voice harsh and dark with worry, she snapped, "Yukio! Call for some help! _Now_!"

She didn't listen as he snapped open his phone and started calling for medical aid, giving a detached description of the wounds that littered his brother's skin. As blood seeped through the smallest gaps between her fingers and around her hands, Shura took her own stock of the injuries she could see. She might not be a fancy Doctor Meister like Yukio was, but that didn't mean that she hadn't seen her fair share of injuries and didn't know what she was dealing with. What she saw was worrying. No, it was terrifying.

It was easy to see that Rin had landed on his feet, the leg bones shattering and splintering until they looked like a twisted, gory mess. She was pretty sure there was a small fragment of bone sticking out of where his knee should be. The blooming bruise and dark scratch over his shoulder showed that he hit the side of the building on his way down. There were scratches and bruises painting an ugly picture across all the visible pieces of his skin, except his face. Remarkably, his face was mainly untouched. There was a leak of blood and the hints of a bad bruise peaking out from his hair just above his left brow.

Swallowing roughly, Shura pushed her hands harder down on the cut on his shoulder, trying to keep as much blood as she could inside this precious boy. This poor, precious boy.

When someone's hand fell on her shoulder, Shura almost whipped out her sword and stabbed them. Luckily, she caught herself and just whipped around instead, eyes unfocused and breathing harsh. Vaguely, she recognized the stranger's outfit as that of the emergency responders that the Order usually utilized.

Gentle, calm hands pulled and pushed her away from Rin. A blanket was placed carefully and caringly over Shura's shoulders. Unconsciously, she gripped the blanket, wrapping it tighter around her shoulders. As she pulled the blanket around herself, though, she saw the blood on her hands. Suddenly mad (mad? Sad? Devastated? What was this emotion tearing through her and leaving her empty and cold?), Shura threw off the blanket and started scrubbing at her hands, resorting to using her nails to get that cursed blood off.

There was suddenly a voice calling out – maybe her name, maybe something else, it all sounded like white noise – before there was a pair of hands gripping hers, stopping them in their mad desperation to get clean. For a moment, she fought them, bucking and clawing at the hands holding hers captive. After a few moments of her futile attempt, she stopped, gasping for breath. The fog was slowly clearing from her mind. Licking her lips and still panting, Shura blinked up at the person in front of her.

It was Angel. His expression was pained and his usually pristine outfit was stained with blood. He was speaking to her, "-clean. You don't need to tear your own arms apart. I'll wash them for you. Alright? You need to calm down. You're not helping anyone the way you are."

He stared at her seriously, still gripping her hands, searching for a sign in her face of whether she'd continue to resist or not. Apparently whatever he saw satisfied him because his grip on her wrists loosened and gentled before he reached for something out of her field of vision. Soon Angel was wiping a cool washcloth across her hands and arms, working the blood out from beneath her nails and scrubbing it off the creases of her hands and her long fingers.

Finally getting her voice to work, Shura croaked, "Rin?"

Angel's face didn't give away a thing as he answered, "The demon…" He paused and looked in Shura's face before looking back at her hands, " _Rin_ is severely injured. However, from current reports, the Doctors believe that he will survive. They said that his advanced healing was probably what prevented that from killing him. It would have killed a human almost instantly." He paused again, finishing with her hands and moving onto gently wiping the blood off of her knees, taking her shoes off and wiping clean her toes. Finally, he continued, "They said there was no sign of a struggle on the roof. And with the way he landed… with the way he's been slightly – off recently… the Doctors say he jumped."

Shura raised startled eyes to Angel's, but he was still looking down at her knees, methodically cleaning them. He was very clearly not meeting her eyes. Words rose to the tip of her tongue, ready to contradict him, ready to tell him he was wrong and being stupid and that he was just some baldie, so what would he know? But the words wouldn't come because… because she could see it. She could picture with horrible, heartbreaking clarity the image of him jumping off that lonely roof. Her mind went back to several days ago when he blew up at her in the training room, yelling at her for not understanding.

She shouldn't have run. She shouldn't have left him there. Even before that, she'd seen him unraveling. The bags under his eyes grew deeper and more pronounced every time she saw him. His shoulders were a little more slumped and his walk a little less swagger and a little more trudge. His eyes were a little less bright every time he used his powers.

She especially should have known after that mission against the demon nest. He'd looked so broken. He'd looked so _lost_. He'd been made to do things that no one should do, especially not a kid trying to balance a plate already full of angst and heartbreak and betrayal. Shura raised a now clean hand to her face, grounding the heel of her palm into her eye, swallowing past the tightness in her throat.

Angel didn't say anything until Shura unwillingly let out a small sob. His voice was soft and reassuring and not at all like the Angel she knew when he said, "It's not your fault, Shura. You couldn't have known."

Shura recognized that he was trying to, for once, be nice, but she couldn't accept it. She wanted to go back to normal. She wanted him to be rude and abrasive and easy to fight. So Shura reacted with anger and indignation, "It sure wasn't his fault! The kid's been dealing with a whole lot lately and no one's been helping him! The Order certainly wasn't helping him by sending him off on missions left and right when he needed to focus on his studies! Ya and yer stupid rules and yer stupid inability to see the half human side of him did this! How hard it is to see the half human side of him?!" Suddenly, her anger broke and her shoulders slumped, tears forcing their way down her cheeks. She sobbed, "Why couldn't I see the half human side of him?"

Through her tears, she saw Angel's eyes slide close, grief clouding his sculpted features for a brief moment. His jaw clenched and his fingers spasmed. After a moment, he took a deep breath and opened his eyes again, staring straight into hers, "We have all made mistakes in the way we handled this situation. You can rest assured that it is being rectified currently. We will not allow this to happen again. If that means that we have to change, then so be it." His eyes unfocused slightly, staring just off to the side of her head, "When I saw him lying there… with you covered in blood next to him… I just thought… he looked like any other True Cross student. Any one of those innocent students could have done that same thing and everyone would be devastated because that was someone who was so miserable that they thought… that they thought that this was the only solution. I guess it just… I just realized that if he did this, then he felt just like we all did. And I thought about how I would have felt if I were in his situation and…" He trailed off.

He didn't need to continue, though. Shura understood completely. They had all failed Rin by failing to understand, to put themselves in his shoes. He'd needed someone to understand what he was going through. He'd needed someone to see the humanity in him.

It was rather ironic, honestly. He was half-human and half-demon and all the humans hated him for his demon part. But then the humans smeared him with insults and dismissals to the point that he lost himself to his demonic side. The humans were the ones that wiped out his humanity. It was all so cruel in it's horrible irony. It was all so heartbreaking in its preventability.

Clearing her throat a little bit, Shura asked, "Where's Yukio? He needs someone right now."

"He's in the hospital, waiting in the room that will be his brother's once Rin is out of surgery." Angel answered promptly.

Shura struggled to her feet, eyes widening when her eyes landed on the mess of gore and blood on the ground in front of her. She battled against the urge to be sick. Angel turned to look where she was looking before wincing and saying, "Go. I'll make sure this gets cleaned up." Shura nodded gratefully and stumbled to a door.

As she sorted through her keys to find the one that would lead to the exorcist hospital, she caught a glimpse of Angel out of the corner of her eye. He was standing still, eyes locked on the roof of the dormitory, blood still staining his clothes, bloody rag clenching in his fist. Shura knew that he still didn't understand what Rin was feeling (would any of them every really understand?), but he was trying and that was mattered. She only hoped that he alone could convince the Grigori and the other exorcists of the necessity of changing something about Rin's situation. There was a good chance, though, that nothing would change. The exorcists were too set in their ways, too scarred from the memory of the blue night. Change was a slow, excruciating process and a single sad, broken boy would probably only be enough to start the change, not exact it. It was sad and frustrating, but an unavoidable truth.

Shura finally got the right key, smashing it through the hole and turning it viciously. She stalked through the door, going straight to the nurse's desk and slamming a hand down on the counter, "Where's Okumura's room?"

The nurse directly in front of her squeaked and try to stammer out an answer, but an older nurse – more used to irritable and angry exorcists – just sighed and said, "Room 103. Please refrain from causing a scene Miss Kirigakure."

Shura didn't grace her with an answer, choosing instead to turn on her heel and head towards the hallway where she knew that room to be.

She slowed when she actually got near the room, walking on silent feet toward the doorway and stopping just outside it, one hand on the frame. Her gaze was sad as she watched the hunched form of the younger twin. Yukio sat unmoving in the room, glasses on the chair next to him and eyes locked on his intertwined hands.

Shura cleared her throat and knocked on the doorframe all at once. Yukio jumped and wiped at his eyes quickly before pushing his glasses on, clearing his throat as he turned around, "Ah, Shura. What are you doing here?"

She shrugged one shoulder, eyes soft, "I wanted to check on ya."

"Yes, well, as you can see, I'm alright. There's no need for you to stay. You should go home and get a shower." Yukio answered promptly, serious expression and a tilt of his head towards the door to emphasize his point.

Shura moved further into the room, causing Yukio to frown. He frowned further when she grabbed a chair and swung it around, straddling it and facing him, "Yeah, well, like it or not, I'm staying. I'm the closest thing to a legal adult that ya two've got."

"Actually," a voice called from the doorway, "That would be me, Miss Kirigakure."

Both of them startled and turned to face Mephisto who was, for once, looking decidedly not cheerful. He settled himself in the last remaining chair, folding his legs delicately over each other and setting his umbrella to rest next to him, against the chair. After he had situated himself, he said, "They are bringing Rin in momentarily. We are allowed to stay in here with him as long as we promise to call for the nurses if he starts to wake. However, they ask that the two of you leave at the end of visiting hours to go home and get cleaned up and rested."

"I'm staying with niisan." Yukio said, raising his head, glasses flashing defiantly.

The expression Mephisto graced Yukio with was actually terrifying enough that Shura and the younger Okumura cringed backwards in their seats slightly. Most of the time, it was impossible to reconcile the otaku headmaster with the powerful demon king, but moments like this made it very clear to see how powerful and dangerous Samael was. Mephisto said firmly, "The two of you will be going back to your rooms when visiting hours end." Yukio bowed his head, but didn't answer. Mephisto turned to look at Shura and she shivered slightly before nodding her head in agreeance. She'd drag Yukio back to his dorm herself if she needed to.

Silence stretched throughout the room for a long moment before there was a bustle of movement. Nurses and doctors piled into the room, quickly and efficiently setting up machines and shoving the visitors out of the way. Shura watched with bated breath as a rolling bed was brought in with Rin settled in the center. Shura was distantly aware of the nurses attached Rin to various machines and locking his wheels into place, but most of her attention was focused on the sleeping boy in front of her.

Despite being hooked up to so many machines and being pale and gaunt beneath the ugly hospital blanket, Rin looked normal – fine. The blood had been washed away from his face and the bruise had already started fading, leaving the faintest imprint behind. Everything else was covered by the blanket. She could, however, see the thick outlines of the casts that encased his legs, both of which had been so obviously broken when Shura had gotten there.

Yukio made a wounded noise in the back of his throat, launching forward as soon as the doctors left, hands hovering over the edges of Rin's face like he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. Mephisto's voice was soft as he moved to Yukio's side, "He won't break if you touch him, you know. Besides, he's on enough drugs that he won't feel it anyways."

As if that permission was all he'd needed, Yukio immediately started smoothing the fringes of hair away from Rin's face, making another small, distressed noise at the bags that were so visible in the harsh light of the hospital that sat underneath Rin's eyes.

Next to Yukio, Mephisto was staring at Rin with such intensity, such (dare she think it?) naked concern that Shura felt like she had imposed on something impossibly private. These were three brothers all trapped in the darkest, most twisted webs of fate and Shura was just an outsider with dubious connections to them, ones that didn't even touch the bonds that they shared.

Suddenly, Yukio spoke, "Was I really so blind? That I couldn't see what was happening to him? I was losing niisan, bit by bit, day after day, and I didn't see a thing until I'd already lost him." He whispered the last part, "There was so much blood."

"He blinded us on purpose." Mephisto answered, expression tight, "He purposely projected strength and unwavering confidence so as to not worry us."

Shura piped up, finally moving forward to stand next to the two half-brothers, "He thought that we couldn't possibly understand. He said that I could never understand how he was feeling so I should stop pretending like I did."

"We let this happen." Yukio said, head bowing with the impossible weight of the situation. Shura felt a sudden rush of anger at Rin. How dare he do this Yukio? To Shura and Mephisto? Sure, Yukio hadn't been around much, being busy with missions and not quite knowing how to deal with the person Rin was becoming in his depression and sure, Shura was a harsh task master through Rin's training and sure, Mephisto ruled over Rin's life from afar, largely choosing to let him make his own mistakes. But that was no reason to put this burden on them!

They had been trying! This situation was hard on them too!

Shura felt her anger wash away again as she remembered the empty expression on Rin's face after he destroyed that demon nest. Maybe the situation was hard on the people who cared about Rin, but it was of their own making as much as it was of Rin's. They'd unwittingly added to the burdens he'd been carrying around for months now. They'd made him feel like he couldn't go to them for help or for someone to talk to. He'd kept everything bottled up inside and growing under his skin where no one could see it.

Everyone made mistakes in this situation, but none of the people in this room did it out of malicious intent. No one here was to blame because everyone here was to blame and pointing fingers would just make a devastating situation worse.

What mattered now was that they learn from this experience. They knew what was happening now. They knew that Rin was having problems. Now they could help him. Together, they would forge a better life for Rin, one where he didn't have to feel like this was the only solution to whatever problems he had.

Yukio sobbed once, loudly, before getting control of himself again, "I failed him."

"We all did." Mephisto said. That was the last thing they said for the rest of the night.

When Shura woke up, she started a little bit at the unfamiliar surroundings before remembering that she'd stayed at the Okumura's dorm so she'd be there for Yukio in the morning. Blinking in the sunlight that filtered through the slotted cracks of the blinds, Shura got out of the bed, stretching and rubbing her eyes tiredly. She was wiped from yesterday and not entirely certain that she'd processed everything yet. There was a good chance that the situation would hit her later in the day, but she just hoped that she was alone when that happened. She didn't need anyone else seeing her break down. Everyone who would be affected by this were just kids and they needed an adult who was strong and composed to keep the group together. They didn't need her falling apart on them.

Shura puttered around her room, getting dressed slowly and languidly, taking her time before she had to go face Yukio.

At least, that had been her plan before she heard shouting come from downstairs. Cursing, Shura raced out of the room, taking the stairs three at a time and leaping over the last railing, landing lightly on her feet and rushing around a corner to find herself in the kitchen.

The entire exwire group was gathered there and Yukio was shouting angrily at them, "- cared until now! You don't deserve to know how he is when you didn't care how he was on any other day! He's just a filthy demon, right? Isn't that what you said, Suguro? Isn't it?"

"Enough!" Shura shouted, startling the group, except for Yukio who just continued to breath harshly, fists clenched and eyes shining suspiciously.

"Miss Kirigakure-san?" Shima asked, hanging on the fringes of the group like he really didn't want to be there. His expression was vaguely guilty as if he knew that he shouldn't be doing this, but he wasn't quite sure why.

Shura glowered at the gathered group before turning to Shiemi, "You, what's going on?"

"Ah," Shiemi stuttered, "U-um, we heard that something, something happened here yesterday and we, uh, wanted to see if Yuki-chan and Rin-chan were alright."

Kamiki finished for her as the shier Tamer trailed off, "We found Okumura-sensei, but then he went off on a rant when we asked where Rin was." Her voice was toneless and unaffected, but there was a sort of bend to her short eyebrows and the slightest tremor in her bottom lip that belayed her worry.

Once again, Shura felt her emotions take a sharp dip. Anger streaked through her again, anger at this group of kids in front of her. Yukio wasn't so far off. Why did they care now? They'd been treating him like trash for months, ignoring him and taunting him and insulting him and excluding him and now they suddenly care?

Before Shura could stop herself, she was glaring at them (mainly Suguro, but she made sure to spread her glare across all of them), "Yukio's right. What makes today so different from every other day? What do ya care what happens to a demon, right? Or are ya scared he ran off for Gehenna? That's it, isn't it? Ya think that he joined the other side so yer worried because otherwise ya wouldn't care one bit. Unbelievable."

"That's not it!" Suguro shouted, cheeks tinted red – with anger or embarrassment, Shura couldn't tell.

"Then what is it?" Yukio asked, voice cold and dangerous.

Suguro shrugged, mulishly staring off to the side, fists clenched, "There were just… there was an ambulance and a lot of exorcists over here last night. We saw the Paladin cleaning blood up. We just thought that maybe… maybe something happened."

"And how does that change my question?" Shura asked, voice still charged with anger, "Why care now? Because he's hurt? Are ya seriously so superficial that you'd only care about what happened to him when he's hurt?"

Suguro lowered his head, staying silent, but, surprisingly, Shiemi spoke up, voice loud and slightly shaky with nerves, "Of course not! He's our friend! We just… I just… I was scared at first. I didn't know how to, to react to him when he was everything I grew up learning how to hate and… and… then I realized that he wasn't bad. He saved us! But, every time I look at him, I'm still scared. I, I stayed away be-because I didn't think I could be a good friend." Shiemi lowered her head, cheeks coloring with shame.

"How can you say that?" Konekomaru asked desperately, glancing around the room, hands spread out like he didn't know what to do with them. He looked straight at Shiemi, "He's a _demon_ , Moriyama. He's the son of _Satan_! You grew up in the exorcist world, so you have to know about the Blue Night! You have to know what Satan has done! So how could you possibly call his _son_ your friend?" Shura raised her eyebrows, grudgingly impressed that all of the normally quiet people were suddenly so vocal.

Speaking of normally quiet people turning vocal, Yukio gripped Shiemi's shoulder and whipped her around to face him. He grabbed Konekomaru with his other hand, expression nothing short of dangerous, " _I am a son of Satan!_ "

The room held its breath, silence waging war with tension around the frozen tableau. Then Suguro burst into the argument, all passionate hands and blazing, intelligent eyes, "That's bull and you know it! You can't compare that!"

"Why not?" Yukio shouted, pushing through the two people he'd manhandled in front of him, stopping inches away from Suguro, somehow towering over him while being several inches shorter. Yukio continued in a scary calm voice that dripped ice, "My and Rin's mother was Yuri Egin, an exorcist. She was possessed and impregnated by Satan. Giving birth to us, having that possession in her, killed her. Satan killed our mother. The man who raised Rin and I – Father Fujimoto, the former Paladin – was killed by Satan days before we came to True Cross Academy. Rin, despite not even knowing demons existed until he awoke as one, swore to become an exorcist for the sole purpose of defeating Satan. How can you call Rin the son of Satan and not me when we were both born of the same person? How?"

Suguro actually stepped back a little in the face of Yukio's fury. Konekomaru whispered from his spot next to Shiemi, "Your… Rin's parents were killed by Satan too?"

Yukio didn't get a chance to answer that, though, because Shima was suddenly squaring his shoulders and stepping neatly between Yukio and Suguro, accusing, "It's not like you were any better, Okumura-sensei. You haven't really been here for him either."

This time it was Yukio who stumbled back, eyes widening beneath their lenses. As gratifying as it was to watch the group tear each other down – to watch them face the same levels of revelations as Rin was forced to face alone – Shura knew that now was the time to step in. This was going too far. She forcibly pushed on the boys' chests, shoving them away from each other. She shouted, "That's enough! Everyone be quiet!"

When silence finally fell, she continued in a quieter voice, scolding, "Konekomaru! Ya never stopped to think about what other people were feeling and what they've been through and ya chose instead to contribute to a person's depression. Shiemi! Ya don't get to decide whether yer being a good friend or not. Sometimes even just being there, scared or not, is enough to count as a good friend. Because Rin would have known that even though ya were scared of him, ya trusted him enough to be near him anyways. He needed someone to trust him. Izumo! Ya might not have acted very different from usual, but ya should have! After everything Rin's done for ya, he deserved to have yer help when he needed it so desperately. Shima! The same goes for ya! Yer precious Bon might have been against Rin, but that didn't mean that ya needed to. Grow a spine already! Be yer own man!"

Turning, Shura faced Suguro, anger growing in the face of his defiance, "And ya, Suguro! Yer the worst of all of them! Yer a rotten hypocrite! Do ya realize that ya once told Rin that ya were friends? Ya once told a kid who'd never had a real friend before that ya were all friends so he better hurry up and learn to trust ya guys with a thing or two because that was what friends did. Guess what? He trusted ya with his biggest secret and he saved yer life from a _demon king who ya would have been useless against_ all in one go and the first thing ya do is get mad at him and call him Satan spawn! How do ya think that made him feel? He'd never had a friend before! As a kid, he had a temper and was unnaturally strong. But he's always wanted to have a friend, to have someone to trust and care about and protect. He knew what friends were supposed to be like. He spent as much time studying friends and trying to figure out how to get one that he knew what friends were supposed to be like. And then ya called him yer friend and then promptly turned yer back on him and left him when he needed ya the most. To him, that just said that he wasn't good enough! That didn't say anything to him about yer hypocrisy. No! Ya betraying him told him that he must be so horrible, so wrong, such a _monster_ that he couldn't even keep a friend! Every taunt ya gave him, every shiver of fear he thought he deserved because it was coming from his friends!"

Shura panted, out of words for the time being. Why couldn't they all just _see_ what they had done to him? Then again, they didn't even know what had happened. They had no idea where Rin was at that moment. They had no idea _why_ he was there.

Apparently, Yukio had the same thought process because he spoke into the startled silence that blanketed the room, "I am sorry. I shouldn't have lost my temper earlier." Shura snorted, but refrained from commenting. Yukio continued after sending her a sharp glare, "To answer your question about where niisan is, he is in the hospital." He held up a hand to stop the rush of questions from the group of exwires in front of him. After they all quieted, he finished with, "Last night he attempted to commit suicide by jumping off the dormitory roof."

The silence that followed Yukio's words was deafening. Izumo's voice was shaky when she asked, "Attempted… that means he survived, right? He's still alive, right?"

Yukio nodded and Izumo's eyes slipped close, knees momentarily buckling with relief. Shiemi was crying, huge wet tears slipping down her face and eyes already started to grow puffy and red. Shima was staring off into space, eyes going unfocused, but grip strengthening on his staff. Konekomaru was shaking, pulling at his fingertips as his eyes widened, obviously trying to reconcile his image of a terrifying demon spawn with a depressed teenager. The reconciliation obviously wasn't going too well.

Suguro, though. He was stock still, staring at Shura with huge, shadowed eyes that reminded Shura so intensely of the way Rin had looked at her on that battlefield – on that slaughtering ground – that she had to swallow down a trickle of bile. Suguro's voice was broken, shattered, when he repeated, "He attempted to commit suicide."

Yukio jerked into motion at those words, grabbing his coat and storming out of the room. He called out, "I'm going to see niisan. Class is cancelled today." And then he was gone, swept out of the room on a storm of rage and exhaustion and overwhelming grief that left the rest of them slightly bereft and shadowed in the wake of such raw emotion.

Suguro spoke again, voice stuck on a loop, "He attempted to commit suicide."

"Yeah, we got that! I _saw_ that." Shura couldn't help the way her voice broke on that last sentence, eyes reflexively filling with tears at the thought of Rin's shattered body in the grass, blood staining her hands and her knees and the shoes that she needed to throw out because she couldn't even looking at them without wanting to puke.

"I don't… I don't understand." Suguro said, seemingly not processing anything.

Sighing, Shura turned to the rest of the group, "I'm gonna talk to Suguro. The rest of ya go find somewhere to finish yer homework or something. Be productive while ya wait for news on Rin, okay?"

It was Shima who eventually got them moving, saying, "Okay. Thank you Kirigakure-sensei. And, take care of Bon please?" She nodded and he nodded back, relieved, before ushering the others out of the dorm, shooing them and pushing them and pulling them when it was necessary, taking rather remarkable charge of the situation for how often he portrayed himself as a goofball fool.

Shura was left alone with Suguro, who was still standing there, eyes wide and unseeing.

She led him over to the dorm's cafeteria, motioning to Ukobach that he should whip something up real quick. It was so achingly familiar to a scene she had enacted not long ago with Rin that it made her heart throb with pain. Then, she had tried so hard to convince him that it wasn't his fault that the group of demons were dead. She tried so hard to convince him that he wasn't a monster for doing that. It had been so hard. Something in him had shifted that day, leaning more towards the demon side. He'd told her that he'd killed his own kind. He'd considered himself nothing but a demon.

She knew that that caustic, dangerous mindset was due to so many different factors and had been allowed to fester for too long. She should have known that there was nothing she could have done by herself that day. She should have known that she needed to call someone in to help. But she hadn't. And now Rin was lying in a hospital bed so disillusioned with life that he'd attempted to destroy his own.

This was different, though. This, she could do something about. Resting a hand on Suguro's back, Shura said quietly, calmly, "This isn't yer fault."

"How can you say that?" Suguro interrupted, voice rough with unshed tears, "How can you say that? I've been calling him a filthy demon and Satan spawn! I've been hurting him on purpose! And I've been believing that that was the best course of action! I honestly believed that I was doing the best thing by distancing him from me and my friends. I thought I was finally doing something right, but I just screwed everything up. I screwed it all up."

Shura gripped Suguro's chin, idly wondering when she became the mother of this ragtag group of misfits, and forced him to look her in the eye, "This is not yer fault. Sure, ya contributed to the situation and ya did absolutely nothing to help, but neither did anyone else. Here's the thing kid, we _all_ screwed up. We _all_ failed Rin. But if we all blamed ourselves, if we all blamed _each other_ , then we're just going to leave Rin alone again. We need to stop focusing on ourselves and focus on him instead. I think he deserves a little bit of positive attention after everything we've put him through."

Suguro stared at her with wide eyes before lowering them slightly to stare at his clenched fists, "It only makes sense, doesn't it? The thing that finally made me realize that he's been half-human this whole time was when he did one of the worst human acts in existence. You were right. I am just superficial enough to only care when he got hurt."

Instead of anger flowing through her at that thought, a calm sort of crushing sadness settled in instead. She chuckled sadly, "Yeah, ya were. But not anymore. We're all going to change now. We're going to change to help Rin get better and we're going to chance to get better."

"I don't know if I can face him." Suguro whispered.

"Ya don't have to." Shura reminded him.

"I think I do." Suguro said before pausing and then continuing, "I'm just afraid that I'll mess it up again. Even now that I've realized everything I've realized, I just… it's so hard to see _Rin_. Because… because… I'm not blaming him or anything, but… he betrayed us too! He _lied_ to us for so long. And yeah, I get it. Everything that's happened showed that he had every reason to lie to us, but that kind of hurts. It hurts that he expected this out of us. It hurts worse to know that he was right."

Shura shook her head, "Don't be so selfish. He wasn't just hiding for ya all. He knew that if the Grigori or any high-ranking exorcists found out who he was that they'd kill him. He's incredibly lucky that Mephisto has some sort of plan for him and was willing to represent him in court. Otherwise… he'd have been executed a long time ago. I honestly don't think he didn't tell ya because he thought ya would react badly – at least, I don't think that was as big a part of it as ya seem to think. I think that a big part of him keeping his secret was that he wanted to protect the people around him. Yukio and Mephisto and the priests at the church he was raised in and Shiro's memory would all be torn apart and accused and destroyed in the wake of a secret as huge as the one he kept. He was protecting the people he loved by keeping that secret and we all know that he'd go to any lengths to help the people he loves."

For a long, long time, the two of them sat in silence.

Then, suddenly, a phone rang. Both occupants of the room jumped, Shura reaching into her pocket and pulling out her phone. She blinked, "It's that clown." She muttered before opening the phone and answering the call, "'Sup?"

" _Perhaps now would be a good time to bring the exwires to the hospital. Yukio and Rin have talked and I believe that Rin has come to an important conclusion._ " Mephisto announced cheerfully before abruptly hanging up.

Shura growled to herself softly, "Sometimes I hate that git." Louder, she said, "Get the others. We're going over to see Rin."

It was almost amusing to see how quickly the group was gathered. If she hadn't known better, Shura would have almost said that the group of exwires had just waited right outside the building for them. (She would find out later that they had used Shiemi's key to get to her house through the front door and so had really just been a door away from the dorm).

Once they had all scrambled into the room, Shura threw a hoodie around her waist and stood up, swinging her keys on her finger, "Come on, kiddos. We're going to see Rin. Try not to be jerks, alright?" The group lowered their eyes, ashamed. Shura chose to not tell them that Rin had come to some sort of important decision. She wondered idly what it could possibly be. She couldn't think of anything.

Going through the door, Shura led the group down the hallway, ignoring the stink eye the head nurse gave her from the front desk. They came to a stop in front of room 103. Shura stood back and motioned the others in. They needed to start taking responsibility for their actions and that meant not running from a bad, awkward situation.

Once they had all filed into the room, Shura followed, watching Rin sadly. The boy was obviously exhausted, pallor still paler than usual and dark bags still hanging under his eyes. His voice was raspy when he said, "Hey guys."

Shura pushed through the group, crouching next to Rin's bed and sweeping his bangs up, running long fingers through his hair, "Ya don't have to act strong for us, Rin. Ya know that, right?" She whispered it into his ear. The smile he gave her that didn't quite reach his tired blue eyes told her that he didn't know. She sighed and just kept running her fingers through his hair.

Shiemi was shifting slightly from foot to foot, looking like she wanted to say something, but obviously not knowing what to say. Konekomaru was still shaking slightly and Shima and Izumo were glancing at each other like they were trying to convince the other to go first. Suguro was staring at Rin intently, like he was trying to take him apart and figure out what made him tick.

Rin chuckled softly, wincing a little, before giving Suguro a slightly shaky smile, "Is there something on my face? You're giving me a weird look."

Suguro frowned before saying, completely bluntly and without any preface, "You're not a demon. You're the same Rin that we met on the first day of cram school."

Rin's slightly drooping eyelids flew open, his head whipping up to stare at Suguro with wide, so incredibly reluctantly hopeful eyes. Suguro shifted uncomfortably at the attention, shoulders hunching and his nose scrunching before he turned his head a little to the side, shifting his weight a little from foot to foot.

Rin gave a small smile – another one that didn't reach those still lightless eyes – and said, "You don't know how much that means to me, Suguro. Thank you." Suguro ducked his head, but didn't answer.

His little comment was enough to spur Shiemi on, though, because she spoke up next, "I'm sorry Rin! I, I messed up and I hurt you and I'm sorry! I won't, um, I won't let this happen again! I'll start sitting with you in cram school again and we can all have lunch together! We won't leave you alone anymore!" At her final sentences, Mephisto, Yukio, and Rin shared a look that was dark was sadness and resignation.

Apparently Shura wasn't the only one who noticed because Izumo immediately demanded, "What was that look? What's wrong?"

Rin ducked his head and clenched his fists on the crisp sheets of the hospital bed, so it was Yukio who eventually answered, voice thick with regret and heartbreak, "Rin won't be joining us in cram school anymore. We've determined that it would be better for him if he took some time away from True Cross Academy. There is a school in the north that is made entirely of Tamers who are training for another meister. We think that a half-demon will find it a little easier to fit in with a group of people who regularly interact and work with demons. Mephisto contacted them and they are more than willing to let Rin attend their school. Besides, that way he'll get exorcist school all day so he'll be more prepared when his deadline comes around. Luckily, Mephisto with, surprisingly, Paladin Angel Auguste's help, was able to push the deadline back two months due to the not-conducive-to-learning environment niisan has found himself in recently. Additionally, the school therapist of this place niisan will be going to has already promised to meet with him several times a week to help him."

Shima's voice was soft and so, so sad when he asked Rin, "So we'll never get to see you again?"

Rin shook his head, "I'll still come back here on breaks and I'll still have my phone. I know Yukio plans to write me letters. We'll still be able to talk and communicate… if you… if you want to, of course."

It broke Shura's heart to see how unsure and careful Rin was being. Normally, he would hide this insecurity under layers of brashness and shining optimism, but apparently being so close to death – wanting to be so close to death – had stripped away those false layers and was showing this true Rin that had been breaking while they all watched on.

As the others kept a respectful distance and made awkward, still slightly fearful and still definitely not connected small talk, Shura made a promise to herself and to Rin. They had all watched on as he fell apart, but no more. Never again would they just watch. From now on, they were going to do something and they were going to keep him alive and loving life. He might be leaving them for somewhere where he can grow better and find happiness, but they would make sure that he left only his bad memories behind, not his friends.

Nothing was fixed and everything was still broken and shattered and so, so very wrong, but people were changing. Hearts were turning over new leaves and finding a better place in the world. People were becoming better. And their friendships would be better for it.

This wasn't a solution, but it was the start of one. And Shura was determined to make sure that it ended up being a good one.

 **Author's Note: WARNINGS – graphic description of violence, suicidal ideology, intense self-hatred. So… that ended up being a LOT longer than I'd planned it to be. Like, yikes. Hope you liked it anyways! I tried to get elements from what everyone wanted in there some way or another. I didn't exactly make everything better, but I think that I fixed everything up. Thanks for reading and let me know what you thought!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: I've decided to add another chapter! This one is the conversation between Rin and Yukio where Rin decided to go to the all-Tamer school. I'm aiming for a relatively short chapter, but I get over-eager on these things and tend to go overboard, so who knows how long this is going to end up. Read, review, and enjoy!**

 **Responses to Guest Reviews:**

 **Another – This wasn't exactly a 'soon' update, but it's an update anyways! Hope you like it! Thanks for reviewing!**

 **Blue Banana – Thanks for the super sweet reviews!**

 **Guest – Thanks for taking the time to review!**

 **Guest – I have corrected the niisan-neesan thing! Let me know if I do anything else wrong!**

 **Guest – It's probably not going to have a formal epilogue, just bits and pieces of the rest of his life. Thanks for the review!**

YYYYYY

Yukio took in a shuddering breath as he stood just outside the doorway to his brother's hospital room. He could hear Rin growling at Mephisto, muttering something about stupid hospital food and stupid demons dressing like lame clowns.

It was just… it was all so normal. Rin had always fought against hospital food, cursing its depressing quality and completely lack of flavor. That argument was something that Yukio had gotten used to over time, coming to cherish the well-worn and repeated argument that Rin always won, if only because he threatened to make Yukio's least favorite meals forever.

The crippling thought that if Rin had succeeded, then Rin would never have made _any_ meals for Yukio ever again chased away any sense of fond nostalgia that might have briefly entertained Yukio's senses.

Yukio would have probably stayed there, pressed up against the wall and drowning in his own self-hatred for the rest of the day if Mephisto hadn't sighed loudly and said, "Yukio~ You can come in here, you know. We won't bite. Well, not that hard~"

Wincing a little at the mental image of Mephisto biting someone, Yukio crept into the room, shoulders hunched around him, and fists held rigidly at his side. He wouldn't look anyone in the room in the eye.

This time, it was niisan's turn to sigh, that world weary sigh he'd always used when he thought Yukio was being an idiot, and Yukio's older brother asked Mephisto, "Hey, could you scram for a little bit? I want to talk to Yukio for a little bit."

Mephisto sniffed daintily and announced, "I will certainly not _scram_. I may glide elegantly out of the room, or skip merrily, but I will not _scram_."

Yukio caught a glimpse of Rin's expression from the corner of his eye – Rin's forehead was scrunched up and his eyes narrowed, lips slightly parted – and had to look back at the ground before he started crying again like the weak little kid he used to be.

Mephisto sighed gustily at the silence that followed his comment and then promptly 'glided elegantly' out of the room. His swaying hips were one of the singularly most horrifying things Yukio had ever had the misfortune of laying his eyes upon.

Rin made a fake retching sound behind Yukio, obviously coming to the same conclusion. That thought was confirmed when he said, "I need bleach for my brain. That was so gross. Stupid clown." When, after a few moments, Yukio still hadn't said anything, Rin asked, "Yukio? You gonna say something, or just stand there all day?"

And that was it. That casual question, that flippant tone, was all just too much for Yukio. He spun around and glared at his brother, the tears in his eyes probably ruining the effect, "Why are you acting so normal?"

"I… what?" Rin asked, eyes as wide as they could go with pain killers and mild sedatives rushing through his veins. He blinked sleepily up at Yukio.

Yukio swallowed hard and exhaled roughly, "You tried to _kill yourself_ yesterday, niisan. Do you get that? Do you understand? And then! And then you just turn around and try to act perfectly normal as if nothing had happened, as if some silly little thing was the reason that you're currently in the hospital with your legs completely covered in casts and nothing but stitching holding you together!"

The bed sheet shifted over where Rin's hand was, showing that he was clenching his fists. He bared his teeth for a moment – a subconscious reaction to stressful situations – before forcing out, "Yeah, I get that, Yukio. I was there. I know what happened. I'm not trying to act like nothing's happened. I'm… I'm just…"

Yukio finished for him, eyes sliding shut with the realization of what Rin was trying to say, "You just wanted to make everyone feel better."

Rin shifted uncomfortably, probably thrown off by the sudden shift in tone, "Yeah, I guess. You guys shouldn't have to deal with me being all – all depressed and stuff. It's not your problem."

Rubbing his forehead with one hand, Yukio took off his glasses with the other and sat down in the chair next to Rin's bed, resisting the urge to lay his head down on the hospital sheets and cry. He was here to help Rin like he should have been doing before. He was not here to get Rin to comfort him.

Yukio swallowed again and said slowly, carefully, "Of course it's our problem, niisan. It's our fault that this happened. We want to help."

"It's not your fault!" The words were out of Rin's mouth almost before Yukio had finished speaking. He continued after a second, a little less frantic, "It's not your fault, I swear. I was just… I let things get to me when I should have just ignored them. I should have been stronger, that was all."

"No." Yukio said firmly.

Rin glanced up at him, startled, "Yukio…"

Yukio continued, eyes serious, determined to do at least this right, "Niisan. You shouldn't have done what you did. But you weren't weak for doing it." Rin's eyebrows crinkled together, mouth opening, probably to argue. Yukio raised a hand for him to stop and asked, "Please, just let me finish. Just this once. _Please_." Rin frowned, but nodded. Yukio blew out a relieved breath and said, "You are not weak for thinking that this was your only option. No one else gave you any sort of indication that you had any other options. I'm not saying that I'm not hurt that you didn't come to me first, but I am saying that I understand. I haven't been very approachable lately. I've done nothing but snap at you and ignore you." He trailed off, finally looking his brother in the eye, noting with a kind of angry sadness that Rin's eyes were dead, dull and tired.

There was a long pause, but when Rin finally responded, Yukio almost wished he hadn't. So quietly that Yukio barely heard him, Rin said, "I understand why you weren't around so much and why you snapped at me or whatever. I'm just a demon."

"You're not!" Yukio exclaimed, barely stopping himself from throwing his hands in the air in frustration. Instead, he ran them through his hair, stopping to pinch the bridge of his nose. He took a deep breath and continued, "You are not just a demon. You are half demon and half _human_."

Rin's face twisted into some far too bitter and far too filled with self-loathing for Yukio's silly older brother and Yukio's heart broke a little at the sight. Rin snarled out, "You _know_ that's not true, Yukio! I've hurt so many people with my powers. Demons call me their _Prince_. I even look like a demon!" And with his expression twisted that way, his pupils dilating red for a moment, Rin really did look like a demon.

Yukio shook the thought away, frowning, "Rin, when you jumped off the roof-," Rin flinched at the reminder, but Yukio kept going, relentlessly, "When you jumped off the roof, how did you feel? What were you feeling?"

There was something oh-so-painfully-hopeful and something shattered in his brother's eyes as Rin shook his head and said, "I don't know… sad? I felt like that was the best option, that I couldn't be saved, and I should stop bothering other people. I felt… lonely." Rin's voice cracked on the last word and he licked his lips and looked away. After a second, Yukio realized that Rin was crying and trying to stop Yukio from seeing it. Idly, the younger twin wondered how many times Rin had cried like this and Yukio just hadn't noticed. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to that.

Swallowing down his feelings of self-resentment, Yukio nodded encouragingly, "Exactly. You were sad and lonely. Rin, demons can't feel. Those feelings of sadness and loneliness? Those were _human_ feelings."

Rin was silent for a long moment and Yukio let him be, the words ringing in the air long after they were said. Yukio watched as Rin closed his eyes, chest rising up and down desperately for a moment before settling into a more even pattern. Rin untangled a hand from his hospital sheets and wiped a forearm across his eyes, not even bothering to attempt to make the move look subtle. There was no way to make that subtle.

When Rin opened his eyes again, they were glassy and slightly red-rimmed, but still so painfully dead. Rin rasped, "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know, niisan. I don't know anymore." Yukio finally gave into the urge and leaned forward, forehead meeting the bedsheets and staying there. One hand came up to clutch at the sheet just to the side of Rin's casted leg. Rin shifted a little bit, hissing, but otherwise not showing any pain. He curled a little bit towards where Yukio was, one hand coming up to rest on Yukio's head, a comforting weight there. Rin's other hand, grabbed Yukio's free hand and tangled their hands together, squeezing tightly, but with enough control to not crush Yukio's hand. Vaguely, Yukio wondered how anyone could see niisan and be afraid of him.

Yukio didn't know how long they sat there until Rin whispered, with the air of admitting to something horrible, "I don't know if I can stand to go back to cram school."

Yukio turned his head slightly, facing his brother, but not lifting his head any, "You have to, niisan. You need the training. If you don't pass the exam, then…" The unspoken words of _you'll be killed_ charged the air. Niisan's just as unspoken words of _maybe that wouldn't be so bad_ charged it further.

Rin's voice was slightly shaky and almost scared when he spoke, eyes shifting to the far wall, "Is there… I mean… I… Isn't there any other exorcist school I could go to?"

Fear flashed through Yukio at the thought of Rin leaving him, but his voice was even when he asked, "Is that really what you want? Most likely, they would need to be informed immediately that you are _half_ demon. You would go into a school with entirely new people who would meet you already knowing of your heritage. Do you really want that?"

"It's not like it's any different here, is it? At least in a new place, they won't have to know that I'm a suicide risk, a demon with depression." Rin bared his fangs at the end, expression pinched and eyes growing duller at his own reminder of his lot in life.

"You're not a demon." Yukio reminded him.

Rin crinkled his nose, "Are you going to say that every time I slip up and call myself a demon?"

"Yes." Yukio said seriously, "Until you never slip up again. Because you're not a demon."

The look in Rin's eyes told Yukio that Rin had no plans of ever believing that, but Yukio was determined to keep it up until that changed. He would help Rin come to that realization if it was the last thing he did.

"So, you really want to find somewhere new." Yukio said in a dull voice, the statement slightly muffled by the hospital sheets.

Rin's shoulders slumped, "I don't know if there even is somewhere new to go. I don't know if the Grigori would even let me go."

"Oh, they'll let you go!" A voice announced from the doorway, causing the two brothers to startle away from each other.

Yukio held his chest and glared at Mephisto who was smirking in the doorway. Rin growled, "I thought I told you to… _glide elegantly out of the room_ or whatever nonsense way you worded it."

"Oh, you did, but I got bored! So, I eavesdropped for the last minute or so. It was all very touching, really. But! I have news! That Paladin with the splendid hair and I got the Grigori to push your exam date back two months! We said something about poor learning conditions or whatnot and it worked like a charm!" Mephisto announced, spinning his umbrella and giving a little bow at the end.

Neither of the brothers clapped, but apparently their stunned expressions were more than enough for the demon king because he merely smirked and didn't start whining about how to give a proper reaction. Yukio was so shocked he couldn't even find it in himself to be mad about the fact that Mephisto had been listening in on their conversation.

"As for the other thing," Mephisto started, expression turning slightly more serious, "I might be able to help you with that too. There is a school in northern Japan, atop a mountain up there. The school is entirely dedicated to Tamers attempting to learn new Meisters. It is very difficult to join the school and requires proof that you and your demon are on good terms. With Kuro acting as your familiar, I believe that it would not be difficult to get you into the school. And there, at least, the people are used to demons walking around. A half-demon should not terribly upset them, no matter who your father is."

Rin stared at him with wide eyes, mouth hanging open, "Mephisto… I…"

Mephisto raised one gloved finger, "But! You must understand what this means for you. The fact that your test has been pushed back and the fact that you'll be going to a school that is entirely exorcist oriented, meaning that there is no regular school, will mean that the Grigori and your exam proctors will be much harsher when the time for your exam comes. They will assume that since you gained these… 'advantages', then you should be given a more difficult test. Legally, they are not allowed to do this, but, as you are half-demon, they will claim that their rules do not apply entirely. Beyond that, you will be sent on more missions than you are already being sent on." Yukio watched as Rin's face paled with the news. Mephisto's lips twitched unhappily, but he didn't comment, just continuing, "As they will believe that you have more time available for it. Those two things are conditions you must accept in order to go to that school. Can you do that? Or will you stay here where people are likely to start acting at least a little different around you?"

Yukio and Mephisto waited in stretched silence as Rin contemplated his answer. It was one of the few times Yukio had actually seen his brother sit still and work through a problem.

In the end, though, Yukio knew his brother well enough to know what his answer was going to be even before he said it. That meant that Yukio was prepared with a bracing smile when Rin said slowly, "I want to go to the Tamer school."

The soft smile Mephisto sent Rin spoke louder than words and he said quietly, "I will make the arrangements with the school headmistress immediately." With that, he slipped out of the room.

"So, you're going to go away." Yukio said, trying to give his brother another encouraging grin, but knowing that he failed miserably.

Rin gave him a pained look, "I'm sorry, Yukio."

"Don't be." Yukio hastened to interrupt, voice firm, "Please, don't be sorry. You need this. It's just… going to be hard. I think that it's been a very long time since we were truly brothers and I think that this event is the catalyst that will finally bring us back together again, but it will be hard without you here. I haven't ever truly been without you. But I believe that separation will do us some good."

"And we won't really be all that far away." Rin encouraged, something not quite a smile settling over his expression, "We'll write letters and text and Skype. I'll come back on breaks and long weekends. You know I'd never really leave you."

"I know." Yukio said simply, completely believing in the statement.

For a second, the two of them just stared at each other, soaking in the sight and trying to remember that they would stay in contact and they wouldn't really be apart. Then Yukio cracked a small smile and said, "I'm sure Ukobach is going to be devastated about losing his cooking partner."

Rin gave Yukio an affronted look, "Excuse you? Ukobach is coming with me!"

"What?" Yukio asked, honestly concerned, "How am I going to eat, then?"

Rin gave him a muted smug look, "Mephisto gives you an allowance, doesn't he?"

Yukio narrowed his eyes at Rin and Rin finally, _finally_ , smiled. It wasn't much, but for now, it was enough.

 **Author's Note: There's another little segment. Let me know what you thought! Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: I know I haven't written for this for a while, but I know you guys have been waiting for another chapter. Again, this story is always complete, but I'm going to add bits and pieces here and there. I'm going to skip ahead in time and go to a time that's a little further in the timeline, when he's already at the Tamer school and established there. This is just a check-up on how he's doing with the new school.**

 **Responses to Guest Reviews:**

 **Blue Banana – Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review!**

 **Funky – Haha, thanks for the amazing review!**

 **Guest – That's how I feel during the show/manga. I'm like, come on people, I thought I liked you and now you're all being douchebags. But they're getting better. Thank you for taking the time to write this review!**

 **4848473638: Don't worry, there will definitely be more! Thanks for the review!**

 **3754284: Here you go! Continued just for you :D Thanks for the review!**

RRRRRR

Rin felt as Kuro snaked his way down the course. This was probably the hardest exercise the two of them had ever attempted and they were taking their free time to practice some more. It was hard, but it was fun, and it strengthened their bond in entirely new ways. It felt freeing, relaxing. It made Rin and Kuro happy.

The task itself was complicated and required intense concentration. Kuro had to work his way down the course. The course was filled with booby traps, hidden doors, obstacles, and different missions to complete. Kuro was blindfolded, relying only on his nose and ears to get through the tasks. Rin was also blindfolded, his ears plugged, and a mask over his nose to prevent him from smelling anything, standing at the end of the course with a ticking timer. When the timer went off – if Kuro didn't get to it in time, - a giant ball of red paint would be tossed onto Rin. It wasn't pleasant, but it was certainly better than what could actually happen out on missions.

Rin only knew the order of the obstacles/booby traps/hidden doors/missions and that was it. He didn't know what set them off or how far apart they were or even how large or winding the course was.

Together, the two of them were supposed to finish the course without Kuro getting injured and without Rin getting doused in red paint. They used their bond to transfer the information Rin knew with the signals that Kuro was hearing and smelling in the air. It was complicated and complex and confusing and the two of them ended up soaked in paint and water and whatever else the instructors had whipped up for the course.

The best part, though, was that everyone commiserated with them over it. Other students would watch from above, cheering at the right parts and booing the system when they lost. The students were always impressed by how intensely Rin and Kuro threw themselves into their work, how dedicated the two were to succeeding. Well, they knew that a lack of success equaled death for Rin, but they usually pushed that to the wayside, focusing on the impressiveness of it instead of the reasoning behind it. Teachers would watch too and give suggestions on how to improve their run through. The entire school was a giant support network and it was pretty great, honestly.

 _Riiiiiin_ , Kuro whined to him telepathically, _Pay attention! I just ran into a wall!_

Trying to hide his chuckle, but having too strong of a bond for it to really matter, Rin threw back, _In my defense, I didn't know there was going to be a wall there either way. I feel like that was not at all in the list I was supposed to know._

 _Uh huh, sure_ , Kuro responded, sounding slightly despondent, _I believe you._

 _Where's the trust that we're supposed to have? The bond? The love for each other?_ Rin asked.

 _I hate you_ , Kuro said back. Rin laughed.

Then he got serious, _Hey, the next trap should be coming up. That water you're hearing? It's probably the river thing. You should have to just jump over it_. Kuro successfully made it over the river, having to dodge as he overshot and landed on a pad that shot foam balls at him. Rin tilted his head to the side, _You know, this is kind of like that game Temple Run_.

 _Ooh! I like watching you play that! It's fun to watch!_ Kuro purred into their mind.

Rin shouted suddenly, _Wall!_

Kuro hissed at the wall, but managed to avoid it, scooting on his bottom for a little bit, but turning in time. Rin and Kuro snickered together, and Rin said, _Maybe we should try to focus a little more, yeah?_

Kuro chuckled, _Yeah, probably. This is most likely the reason we keep failing_.

The two finally focus, but they don't pass. Rin ends up soaked in red paint and Kuro is panting and soaked in cold water. Either way, they're laughing. It's the happiest Rin has felt in a long, long time.

"Rin!" A different voice called out. It was always jarring to hear a human's voice after Rin and his demon had been so immersed in an activity. Everything was inside, and voices sounded different inside of one's mind. Like, the voices sounded the same, but like, weirdly different. It was weird. Rin couldn't explain it. Which was fine. It wasn't his job to explain this kind of stuff. That was for the teachers. Either way, it was a perfectly normal feeling to have, especially after spending so long on the activity. Rin and Kuro had been trying this the entire morning.

Rin glanced over to the voice, smiling a little bit when he saw Akio and his demon Hideo. Hideo was a Qilin. Hideo was smaller than usual, and its horns were broken into small little nubs. Rin had learned in his time here that a lot of the Tamers that came to this school were more than a little desperate and broken. Pretty much everyone who came here came with a sob story. Some faced a huge loss on the battlefield and most of their demons were dead, their comrades gone with them. Some had been tossed out of homes and forced to deal with demons on their own after their family – humans without temptaints – didn't believe them.

Rin was the only half-demon there, but, like Mephisto suspected, no one even batted an eye at his presence. Most of the people here understood how complicated and hurtful humans could be. They trusted their demons as their one and only chance at true loyalty. Well, the students and teachers here all trusted each other, of course. But that was nothing on the bonds that could form between a Tamer and their demon. Nothing could touch the relationship that happened there.

Especially with the exercises they would go through. Obviously, the school was meant for Tamers looking into additional Meisters, but they trained their Taming abilities as much as they trained for any other Meister. It was cool when teachers could use Taming to apply to the other Meisters.

"Rin?" Akio called out.

Rin's head snapped towards him and then he lowered it slightly, hand rubbing over his neck, cheeks red, "Haha, sorry. Spaced out there for a second."

"I'm not surprised," Akio laughed, "You and Kuro have been at this for _hours_. Why don't you take a break? Come with us for lunch since we can eat off campus today. Hey, you're still making dinner for all of us tonight, right?"

Rin smiled, cheeks dimpling, "Yeah, we'd love to go out with you guys. Let me get cleaned up first? And yep, still cooking. Six still good for everyone?"

"For your cooking? Any time is good for us." Akio grinned and then said, "Just shoot us out a text when you're done, and we'll start heading towards the main gate. Meet you there?"

"Absolutely. See you guys in a sec!" Rin shouted behind him as he and Kuro started running towards their dorm, looking for the showers. As he started to strip, he called out a small chant, the words not even really registering in his mind, as used to saying them as he was.

There was a small poof and a medium sized imp popped up, eyes practically glowing with happiness. In her natural demon language, she requested shyly, " _Can I wash your clothes again? Pretty please, my Prince?_ "

Laughing, Rin waved to the pile of paint-soaked clothes. He had a towel around his waist and was trying to get as much of the paint off of his skin as he could before the shower. He shook his head, lips ticking upwards at the imp, "I know I say this every time, but I will never understand why you enjoy doing laundry. Do you know how awful I felt when you first tried to do my laundry?"

" _That is why she'll always do it for you. Why all of us will always work for you. Satan is not particularly kind to any demon kind._ You _are, my Prince. You will always be our Prince, human or demon or both._ " Ukobach stated, bringing in a small dish for Kuro to start eating. He nodded sagely, and the other two demons nodded with him. He was the oldest and they typically took his lead with most things.

It had been his idea to start calling Rin "my Prince." Rin hadn't really liked it. He'd been too fresh from his suicide attempt, too shattered after the experiences he'd gone through. Anything that reminded him of his heritage seemed like a jagged knife dragged across his skin. It physically pained him and made him slightly sick. Rin's therapist had disagreed, though. She had noticed that most of the Tamer's demons called Rin "my Prince," had realized that he wasn't going to get away from the title, no matter what he did. So, the school therapist had suggested that Rin allow it, accept it. She thought that it would make him more confident in his place and his acceptance at the school. As usual, she was right. It had been hard to hear at first and there had been some close calls, but it fit now, made him feel differently than it had before.

When Rin had first been called "my Prince," he'd been terrified and hurt. The word had been poison slipped into him and an insult, a derogatory term against him. The words had made him feel guilty and afraid and so very alone. Now? Now, the word felt right. It fit who he was, who he wanted to become. Yes, the term put a level of responsibility on him, but for once it felt manageable. Rin was going to graduate from this school and become an exorcist. He was going to go on missions for the Order and he was going to defeat Satan. Whether that meant that he would end up taking over Gehenna, or finding someone else suitable to take his place, he hadn't yet decided. It was something that his therapist had told him to think about. Rin figured that he needed to learn a bit more about Gehenna itself before he started trying to make decisions.

Shaking his head, Rin got into the shower and started cleaning himself off. He really didn't need to think about that at the moment. His brain was fried from the activity he'd just put himself through. The worst part was, once Rin had trained this with Kuro, he was going to have to try again with his other fighting demons. He'd always secretly kind of thought of his team of demons as a party in Pokémon. Like, he picked some of his collection of summoned demons and used them to fight, cycling them out one at a time until he needed to summon a different one. Definitely like Pokémon. Then, obviously, there were other demons who did other things. Eimi, the imp, did chores and the like. Ukobach cooked.

It wasn't particularly rare for Tamers at the school to have a team of demons like Rin had. His group was actually a little smaller than some. Izumo and Shiemi may have summoned one or two demons each, but they had just started. The school that Rin found himself enrolled in was much more intense than cram school had been.

This was a school designed for Tamers and there was no pesky normal school to go to. The class size was _tiny_ and there were a lot of teachers. It was a good environment for students to be pushed to their limits and to learn things quickly. Rin was, obviously, behind the other students. He was lacking in basic knowledge that made it difficult to keep up, but the teachers were more than willing to take time out of their day to help him and answer his questions. He had caught up relatively quickly. The ease with which the students took to him, helping him with his homework and never calling him stupid, too helped. Honestly, the situation was almost too good to be true.

Rin desperately missed his brother, always would. Yukio had been right when he'd said that the two of them had never really been apart before. The twins had been attached as much as they could with their different personalities and varying education paths. Of course, towards the end they'd drifted apart, but still. They were sort of together. Now they were miles away from each other. Rin was on an isolated mountainside while his brother was in the heart of a city complex. Rin hadn't yet had the time to come visit. They'd only been able to text each other, maybe managing two or three calls a week. Rin hadn't talked to any of the other exwires, but he'd asked about them every time. He'd asked about Mephisto and Shura too.

For some reason, Paladin Angel had visited him several times. The current Paladin wasn't entirely nice to him, but he wasn't cruel like he used to be. There was still a sort of cold passion that was kind of scary, but in the recent visits it had seemed slightly vague? Aimed at something other than him? Rin didn't know how to explain it. He didn't understand the change either, but he was never willing to bring it up with the man. The Paladin only visited when he was checking up on Rin's progress or when Rin was to be briefed for a mission. The teachers at the school had become Rin's backup and the headmistress had become their handlers. It was weird working with more than one person, but it wasn't a bad weird. It just took some getting used to.

Rin had been so nervous the first time, terrified of what these people he'd come to respect would think when they saw his flames, saw the way he cut demons down like they were weeds beneath his feet. They hadn't really reacted, though. They congratulated him on a job well done and they gave him pointers to increase his efficiency in future battles, but there hadn't been any comments.

Rin really, _really_ liked it at this place.

Shaking his head again, Rin pulled his head out of the memories it had fallen into. He really wished that it was easier to delve so deeply into a Tamer's bond. Not a single Tamer than Rin had left could go into a bond for a long time and come back out without feeling completely out of it for a couple of hours. Maybe he'd look into that. He'd heard that the headmistress was planning on implementing a sort of final thesis project for anyone wanting to graduate and Rin certainly wouldn't mind having that as his thesis. It would be interesting, and he knew of a few teachers who had opinions on the matter that he could start off of.

" _Are we ready to go, Rin?_ " Kuro asked, patting his full belly, curled up next to the spot where the bowl had been. Ukobach and Eimi were gone and so were the bowl and Rin's dirty clothes. Fresh ones were in their place.

Rin nodded, "Just let me get some clothes on and then we can head out. Cool?"

" _Yep_!" Kuro chirped, stretching out and curling his claws against the floor for a moment. Rin felt the relaxation seeping through their bond, leaving Rin sleepy comfortable and pleasantly stretched out. Carefully, Rin put a small mesh barrier between their minds. There would still be a strong connection, but Rin would feel a little more like a half-human, half-demon and a little less like a Cat Sith with that slight barrier between their minds. That was another common practice. As much as it was nice to have someone share themselves so completely with you, it was nice to have some feelings left alone, tucked away with themselves. Even Tamers and their demons could get sick of each other.

The two of them left the dorm, Rin shooting a text to Akio as he went. They locked up behind them and started down the path towards the main gate. The big, imposing doors normally opened up to a mountain range that the students could run through with their demons anytime they started feeling cooped up. Typically, a teacher's permission was necessary, but sometimes the headmistress understood if the students needed to just get out without having to ask. Like Rin had mentioned earlier, they were all kind of broken here.

Finally, the two of them reached the front gate. Karin was standing there excitedly, rubbing her hands together and watching the gate like it was the answer to all her prayers. Akio was standing next to her, laughing at something Karin's roommate, Mikiko had said. The two had just started dating a week or two ago. They were adorably cute together and Rin couldn't help but wish them the best of luck.

Akio raised his hand in greeting, waving to Rin. Rin waved back, grin taking over his features, "Hey guys."

Karin threw her head back and laughed, "Oh sweetheart, you sound awful. You really have been at that obstacle course all morning, haven't you?"

"Never tried to claim otherwise." Rin answered nonchalantly, grin forming into something untamable.

A new voice laughed from behind them, "What did you think was going to happen? Rin couldn't do it immediately, so he had to keep trying until he got it. Rin's got the whole package, but if there is anything he's somehow lacking, his tenacity more than makes up for it." It was Morio, Rin's roommate. The two had, shockingly enough, gotten off to a great start. There hadn't been any of the rocky beginnings that Rin had come to think of as normal. Morio had reminded Rin of Shima, actually, easy-going nature and way with the ladies reminiscent of the pink-haired exwire. But Morio was determined and scary intelligent, constantly working to achieve the things he dreamed of.

The rest of the group laughed while Rin colored and shoved Morio slightly. Morio grinned brightly at him and then waved a key triumphantly, "I've got our key to freedom, ladies and gentlemen! We've got two hours to traverse the city. Everyone ready to go?" The group nodded and shifted around to let Morio through to the door. He carefully fitted the key into the lock and turned it. They opened the door and were greeted not with a mountainside, but with a bustling city street. There were vendors shouting out offers and commuters bustling through with their lunch clutched in their hands, little children scuffling underfoot and coal tars floating contentedly through the air.

It was always something of a shock coming down to the city. It was a completely different atmosphere from the calming silence of the mountain. Coming to the city was exhilarating, but it was also just as nice to stay up on the mountain, cut off from the other people, the ones who wouldn't accept Rin so easily.

Karin jostled Rin's shoulder and said, "C'mon! You're going to be left behind if you don't keep up!" She grabbed him by the hand and they raced after their friends, who were already gone towards their favorite restaurant. The group was determined to try everything on the menu and then find a new restaurant and do the same thing. Each person got a different meal and they all put the food in the middle, dishing a little bit of everything onto each of their plates. It was a lot of fun and the staff at this particular restaurant knew of their routine by now, was ready for them when their bimonthly trip off campus came around.

Karin let go of Rin's hand as soon as they entered the restaurant, waving to a pretty girl who blew Karin a kiss from the kitchen. Karin's girlfriend was the real reason that the group of friends had chosen this as their first restaurant to explore.

The waiter brought Karin and Rin to the table that had already been reserved and laid out for the group, the other three already there. Rin slid into a chair right next to Morio and across from Akio. Karin said she'd be back and then headed off towards the kitchen to see her girlfriend.

Mikiko and Akio were holding hands and laughing when Rin finally settled in, Kuro laid across his feet, purring gently. Morio rolled his eyes, "Look at all these lovers. PDA all in my face. It's like they're trying to rub in the fact that everyone in our friend group is in a relationship except us. Ugh. Hey, solution! _We_ could date. Problem solved!"

Rin pushed Morio, "As if you were anywhere near my league. I'm too good for you."

Mikiko rolled her eyes and laughed, "You don't even like guys."

"What if I like Rin, though? I give a genuine confession and I'm mocked!" Morio pouted, eyes wide and hurt. Rin would have felt concerned about rebuffing him, but then he noticed Morio's demon, Kryon. The demon told the truth, changing colors when a lie was told. Normally, the demon was black with intricate gold designs etched over his skin. When a lie was told, the colors reversed. At the moment, the demon was almost entirely gold with black designs quivering across his skin as the demon laughed at its own Tamer.

Morio actually slumped, "Really Kryon? I thought I could trust you." Kryon only shrugged in return. The group laughed. It wasn't as loud or boisterous or _bright_ as Rin's laughs normally were, but it was genuine and that was really all that mattered. Rin was by no means all the way cured, but he was certainly better than he had been. The therapist was helping even though it had been awkward at first. Their conversations had been stilted and impersonal. Rin wasn't willing to share his every thought, especially not after so long protecting his greatest secret. He was afraid of people being afraid of him and he was so used to being the older brother, trying to protect the younger one from all of his feelings. He was happy for other people and not himself.

Akio suddenly bolted upright in his seat. His elbow clattered against one of the bowls of chips that were lying on the table. The rest of the restaurant turned to stare at the group of teenagers in practically the middle of the restaurant. Akio's cheeks turned bright red and his hand clutched at Mikiko's. The rest of the group tilted their heads at him. Rin asked slowly, "You okay there?"

Akio waited to answer until the other patrons had started to look away. He hissed down at the seat next to him, " _Hideo_. _Why_ would you _do that_?"

The rest of the group snickered and Mikiko ran a hand over the stubs of Hideo's horns, "He was just showing his affection, right buddy?" Normally, it was taboo to touch another person's demon, but couples typically broke that unspoken rule.

Squinting his eyes, Akio glared at her, "You told him to do that."

Mikiko widened bright hazel eyes, "No way! I would never do that!" Kryon casually turned gold off to the side. Akio smirked in triumph as Mikiko threw her hands in the air, "Morio, your demon makes prank wars so much harder."

Morio, despite having just been betrayed by the color changing demon, just shrugged and said lightly, "If you don't have to work for it, it's not worth it."

Karin returned before anyone could say anything, plates balanced up and down her arms, "Here are the next items on the menu for each of us. If you could just clear those chips out of the way… Awesome, thanks. Here we go." She would always order for the group and would sit back there with her girlfriend as the food was cooked. Then she'd take over the job of bringing the dishes over so the waitstaff didn't have to worry about them. They still tipped, of course, but Karin always brought the food over.

"Itadakimasu." The five of them said in unison before digging into their meals.

They ate with gusto, sampling and trying new things and making idle small talk between bites of food. The restaurant had a relaxing ambiance and the food was delicious, different flavors and types of food for them to try.

The tension slipped out of each of their shoulders, the stress of school and weariness of training non-stop falling away with the mood of the city and the feeling that nothing really mattered here in this bustling city that didn't stop for anything.

Well, didn't stop for almost anything. Apparently, rampaging demons through the middle of the road was enough to stop the city. The group of Tamers stood, meals abandoned as they took in the hulking creature smashing into buildings and knocking people down. The chaos was slightly more manageable than it would have been if people could see the ugly thing, but people were still understandably freaked out about buildings suddenly falling to pieces and cars blasting to the side.

The Tamers ran. Morio, as the oldest, shouted behind them as they ran out, "Everyone stay inside! Please don't try to exit the building until this is contained. Thank you and sorry for the inconvenience!"

It was always awkward fighting demons when people who couldn't see them were watching. The other people were so weirded out by what was happening, and you were just flying around whacking things. Awkward.

Luckily, though, it looked like the group of Tamers weren't the only ones that were going to be answering the call of this giant demon. It wasn't that surprising; the city was relatively large, meaning that there was an outpost of exorcists nearby.

What was surprising, though, was that the group of exorcists that were already fighting the demon were kids. They had to be pages or exwires, they were so young. What was most surprising, however, were just what kids had been called to answer this demon's rampage.

Rin's face paled. No, no, no. He was not ready for this. He did not want to see the exwires from True Cross Academy. He didn't want them here where he was finally happy and free and doing things he was proud of. Not when he was finally starting to care about himself and finally starting to _breathe_.

Morio noticed Rin's hesitance first, "What's wrong, Rin? You okay?" All Rin could think was that the exorcists-in-training from cram school would have told him to keep up if he had started lagging behind.

Rin shook his head slightly, mouth going dry, "Those are the kids from my old school, the one I left to come here." This group of friends that Rin hung out with knew his story. Rin's therapist had recommended that he tell them so they would be more understanding and wouldn't unintentionally hurt him. They had done the same with him, telling him their story so all of them understood each other. The rest of the group paused slightly, but Rin shook his head again, "It's fine. I won't let it get in the way. We're more professional than that." He grinned at the others and they grinned back.

Morio shrugged and said, "Either way, they need to move. A bunch of exwires can't be cleared for this sort of demon. Any exorcists with them?" Rin scanned the group for the familiar faces of either his brother or Shura before shaking his head no. It was just the exwires. Morio frowned before heading towards the group. It was Suguro who noticed him first, frowning through his chants. Morio held out his exorcist identification card (he was the only one who was a certified exorcist; the rest were still working on getting ready for the exam) and called out, "You kids need to back away. This is way above your paygrade. We need you to get out of our way or else you're going to get hurt."

Izumo, still all that bright fire and snappy attitude, threw back, "Maybe if you had gotten here sooner, we wouldn't have this problem."

Morio's frown deepened, "We were off duty. Back away or I'll have to report you to your superiors as insubordinate."

Shima, having just batted away a flailing arm with his weapon, muttered with a sigh, "Don't worry, they already know." Nevertheless, Shima stepped back, pulling Konekomaru out of the way, Suguro scowling fiercely but going with them. Izumo sighed loudly, but eventually pulled back too. Shiemi was the last to notice, blinking at her disappearing friends.

As she was turned to look, Nee was hit by one of the demon's arms, sending the creature smashing into a building. Shiemi cried out with her familiar and made a move towards the building Nee was currently lying stunned in front of. When she was turned slightly away, the demon made it's move, grabbing the back of her uniform and _yanking_ upwards, Shiemi still in its grasp.

Gasping, Karin broke into action, sliding beneath a waving, fire clothed hand as her Naberius bounded after her. The two wove through flailing arms and stomping legs to end up on the other side of the demon. Morio and Kryon moved off after her, running slightly up the side of a building before flipping off the edge, landing slightly to the side of the demon. Rin and Kuro went next, actually leaping all the way over the demon, grabbing Shiemi as he leapt, and landing on the other side, crouched with his sword out, blue fire licking over his skin. He could hear the gasps from where the exwires were standing next to Akio and Hideo. Rin gently pushed Shiemi towards them. Mikiko pulled out her guns, her extremely rare and practically impossible to tame Seraphim leaping into the air with her.

The group made a kind of circle around the demon, used to working together. The school put Tamers of the same kind of age into a group together in order to ensure that there were full teams available. Mikiko was the team Dragoon-in-training, Akio the Doctor-in-training. Morio was their Aria-in-training and Karin and Rin were the Knights-in-training. Together, they made a full team and were pretty well prepared for most things. Most of the other students hadn't really gone on missions before, but Rin always made sure to tell the rest of them about the missions in order to help them kind of get a feel for what it was like on the field. Obviously, they've done trial runs and they've gone out on small exwire and page missions, but nothing all that big. Still, Rin was certain that they'd be able to handle it.

The group settled into an easy pattern as they circled the demon. Morio was already calling out fatal verses, running through phrase after phrase and standing behind Kryon's almost human sized form. Kryon would protect him if the need arose. Hopefully, the other three fighters would be able to hold him off or even defeat him before the need arose.

Rin and Karin moved in at the same time, coming in from opposite directions. They both pulled out their swords and slashed. Rin rolled as he slashed, unexpectedly driving his sword into the demon's underbelly. There was a hand clawing down towards his face, but Kuro caught it in his own, batting the hand away and swiping an enormous paw out at the demon. A flip of the tail sent Karin's Naberius, Taka, smashing into the ground, but Mikiko was shooting rapidly at the foot that tried to crush Taka. When the demon lifted its leg to avoid the bullets, Karin moved in, savagely sweeping her sword through the leg.

Rin made his move next, leaping up again to land on the demon's head. He held the head as Mikiko's Seraphim, named Minae, swooped down and sent a small explosion into the head. The demon reared back, overbalancing with the help of Taka's stable form under his legs and the continued onslaught of Mikiko's blast sending him reeling backwards onto the ground.

Morio made a triumphant noise, shouting a verse. The demon started smoking slightly, eyes shriveling up in it's head. While it was weak and incapacitated, Rin shoved his sword through the demon's head, forcing some of his flames through the weapon and into the demon. Soon, there was nothing but a pile of smoking ash on the ground.

The group drooped a little bit, breathing hard through the fast-paced battle. Rin smiled at his friends, blue fire still dancing on the edges of his skin. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the exwires from True Cross staring at them, gobsmacked. Konekomaru's eyes were wide, almost scared and Rin felt his tail droop behind him. After all they'd gone through… nothing really changed.

Karin gave him a pat on the back before picking her Naberius up and bringing it over to Akio. The Doctor-in-training started patting the demon down, gently searching for injuries. Mikiko said, "I'll go ahead and let the patrons of the restaurant know that the threat is neutralized. I'll grab our food and pay, too. We were almost done anyways."

Morio nodded at her and watched as she headed off. Morio gave Rin a side-hug and muttered, mainly to himself, "I hate being the oldest. I hate being the only certified exorcist. It means I get to call it in when demons destroy a city block. Ugh." After a brief pause, Morio whispered, "You going to be okay going over there with just Akio and Karin? Although you're not the second most senior member or whatever, you're definitely the most experienced, so it'll be your job to deal with the other exorcists on scene. Try to find out where their instructors are, if you can. You good to do that?"

After a moment of hesitation, Rin nodded and tried for a smile, "Yeah, I'll be good. Like you said, Akio and Karin will be there. Besides, it'll be… good to see them again. I think. We'll find out, yeah?" Rin gave him a goofy grin, the curve of his lips coming a little more naturally now.

Morio rolled his eyes but nodded, eyes serious. He clapped Rin on the shoulder again before tapping the handle of Kurikara. Blushing slightly, Rin sheathed his sword, the blue flames dying down around him. It got easier to see the flames and not hate himself for them every time he used them, every time a friend brushed against the flames and was unharmed.

Rin walked towards the exorcists, heart thumping in his chest. Smiling tightly at the exwires, Rin asked politely, "Where are Yukio and Miss Kirigakure?"

"Rin…" Shiemi breathed out, expression wide.

Suguro was shaking, anger evident in the balled-up fists and tight expression. Shima was the one who answered, though, glancing nervously between Rin and Suguro, "They got caught up at the exorcist outpost. We were hanging out further in town while they dealt with that. When we saw the demon, we tried calling them, but no one answered, so we left to deal with it ourselves."

Frowning slightly, Akio called out, "Hey, any of you injured? Rin, you've got your brother's number, right? Try calling him while I patch your friends up."

Rin nodded his thanks and hit speed dial for his brother's number. After a few seconds of watching Akio alternate between treating the Naberius and checking over the exwires, Yukio picked up. Yukio's voice was stressed when he rushed out, " _Sorry niisan. I'm a little busy right now. Kirigakure and I were at the outpost and the exwires called, but we didn't get it. Now they're missing._ "

"Chill, Yukio. I found them. They decided to go after a pretty big demon on their own. It doesn't look like any of them were hurt badly. Nee is a little banged up, Shiemi's got a scratch, Izumo's got a bruise at her temple that probably needs to be looked at, and Taka is little injured too. Other than that, everyone is fine." Rin answered easily.

Yukio's voice was slightly strained when he asked, " _So, you stopped my exwires from fighting the demon only for_ you _to then fight it?_ "

"Relax, Yukio! I had the rest of my team with me and you know we work well together. It was over quickly. Here's the address of where we're at." Rin relayed the address, correcting the number he got wrong when Karin told him to.

Yukio sighed, voice fond when he responded, " _Thank you, niisan. We will see you in a moment._ " Yukio hung up after that.

The wait for Yukio to get there was awkward to say the least. None of them talked much. Akio occasionally asked the True Cross students questions about their pains and the students answered, but that was mainly as far as the conversation went. At one point, Morio came back and asked them to explain what had happened in detail so he could write up a report. He'd slung a protective arm over Rin's shoulder as he talked, comfortable draped over his friend. Rin took it with a long-suffering sigh, used to Morio's lack of understanding of the concept of personal space. Kryon and Kuro sat nestled together on the ground.

At one point, Shima cleared his throat awkwardly, commenting, "It was interesting that we were here at the same time." It was probably the least smooth Rin had ever seen the pink-haired monk, awkwardness coating the air with tension.

Mikiko rejoined the conversation at that moment, leaning over to kiss Akio's cheek before responding, "This is our once every two weeks trip off the mountain side school. We go to this restaurant every time we have our day out."

Shima leapt on the opening, moving the conversation along, "So you all go to the same school as Okumura?"

"Yeah, school for Tamers looking at other Meisters. For most of us, our schooling here gets us a Tamer and another Meister. I'm personally going for Tamer and Doctor, which is probably pretty obvious. I'm Akio by the way and this is my demon Hideo. This is my girlfriend Mikiko and her demon, Minae. You obviously know Rin and Kuro. This is Karin and her demon Taka and, finally, the only one of our group who came to the school with a Taming Meister already under his belt, Morio and his demon Kryon. Well, when I say demon, I obviously mean our main demons." Akio babbled nervously.

Izumo cut into the conversation sharply, "What do you mean main demons?"

Karin eyed her curiously, "Well… Rin always compares it to Pokémon? You have a starter Pokémon who typically is around most of the time, just walking with you and doing stuff with you. And then there is the rest of your party, who you call on when your starter is too injured, or you need a certain type for something. Like, again with Rin, Kuro is his starter, but he's got three other fighters and then he's got Ukobach who cooks for him and Eimi who does all the housework."

Short eyebrows shooting upwards, Izumo questioned imperiously, "You can summon that many demons?"

"Obviously not all at once. Akio is the best at summoning a ton at one time, but I can get three or four out here in one go." Rin shrugged. He was proud of his achievements, proud of the number of summons he could manage at his age, of the number of demons who made a contract with him. Of course, most people at the school were good enough Tamers that they could all manage about the same as him, but there weren't a lot of people who got into the school. It wasn't an easy place to get into. But, seeing his friends again, being forced to stand in awkward remembrance with them, was giving him moments of doubt, plaguing his thoughts and making him worry about his skill level.

Karin must have recognized the tightening of Rin's shoulders, the draw to his mouth because she changed the subject, "Rin and I are this group's Knights. Mikiko is our Dragoon, and Morio our Aria."

Suguro sounded strangled when he said, "You make a very efficient team." Rin heard something disapproving in there, anger where there shouldn't have been. He shrunk further into Morio's arm.

Morio opened his mouth to say something – probably bragging – when Shura and Yukio finally made it. Yukio went immediately towards Rin and scanned him over before hugging him quickly, studiously. Rin felt a wave of fondness wash over him as Yukio stiffly stepped out of the hug, straightening his back and acting unaffected. Same old Yukio, always trying to show off how much of a "big boy" he was now. Yukio asked seriously, "I know that Rin already said that the injuries were minor, but there truly were no major wounds, correct?"

"Right!" Akio said, waving towards Shiemi, Nee, and Izumo, "You're welcome to check your people out for yourself, though, if you'd like."

Yukio's expression softened, "No, that's quite alright. Rin trusts you, so I trust you to look after my students."

He opened his mouth to say something else, but Mikiko blurted out, "You two look nothing alike. I mean, I had seen pictures, so I knew that you didn't look a thing like each other, but dang."

"He got all the nerdiness and I got all the hotness." Rin grinned, tail swishing proudly behind him.

Karin snorted, "Some hotness you got there. So hot the fire's blue." The group laughed, Rin grinning widely and rolling his eyes.

Konekomaru stiffened at the reminder, though, eyes darting over to Rin. The half-demon felt his mood fall with the action. He shifted slightly, uncomfortable.

Morio broke the silence that had settled over the group, "The headmistress said that if you didn't have anything pressing, she'd like to address this situation with all of you up at the school. Figure we can probably go now." Yukio nodded in agreement.

Slumping, Karin bemoaned, "We get two hours every two weeks to go outside. I just got my time cut in half and had to fight a demon while I was at it. How is this fair? _How_? What deity did I anger?"

"The glorious headmistress." Akio muttered. The group laughed again, except Rin. He was wound tight now, stressed without an outlet. His therapist had mentioned visiting True Cross again and he'd been open to the idea, but the two had agreed that it would probably be better if he waited a while, maybe even until after his exam which was coming up relatively quickly. Having them here when he hadn't expected it, in a place that had started feeling safe, was really not helping him at all.

Biting her lip, Karin sent him a look, but didn't say anything before calling out, "I'm going to go say bye to my girl. I'll meet you at the door, kay?"

She bounded off even as Morio called after her, "Don't take too long!" He slumped when he realized there was no way she'd heard him, "She does that just to annoy me, doesn't she? Karin will take forever, and it'll be my head that the headmistress bites off. Sometimes it sucks being in charge of you vagabonds. I can't wait until you're all exorcists and someone else can take charge."

Akio shoved Morio lightly, almost dislodging Rin, who was still under Morio's arm, "Oh come on, you take longer than Karin with literally everything you do. Who was it that we all had to wait on to even leave earlier this morning? It was you!"

"I was trying to get the key out to the city! _Because_ it's me that has to look after all of you!" Morio protested.

Mikiko raised an eyebrow, "Who would you vote as our exorcist-in-charge if not you? You're literally the most senior member in terms of age and exorcist status."

"Totally going to put Rin in charge." Morio said confidently. Rin raised an eyebrow, but otherwise didn't engage in the conversation. Morio took that as invitation to keep going and said, "Yep, Rin will be our Prince and we will follow him into battle! I'm totally sick of you guys and hate having to do all that paperwork." Kryon casually turned gold from where he was lumbering next to Morio.

Mikiko started laughing, clutching her stomach. Rin finally smiled, still tense, but definitely amused, "Foiled by your own demon. Again. You should really learn to tell half-truths around Kryon."

Akio was crowing, "I knew you liked paperwork! I _knew_ it!"

When they finally reached the door they used, Karin was already standing there, breathing hard but still smiling smugly. Rin ducked his head to hide a smile. Morio moved to the front of the group, finally letting Rin go, and unlocked the door. He pulled it open to reveal the inner courtyard of the school. Rin felt sick to his stomach as he watched his former friends walk through the door.

Rin went last. He peaked out the door once more, trying to take in the city feel for one last moment. Then, he shut the door. It was time to go.

 **Author's Note: This became a whole lot more involved than I had intended. Originally, I hadn't wanted to talk a lot about the school so I wouldn't have to introduce any new characters, but then it just kind of started to happen and now I've got four new characters (nine if you include all the demons). Ugh. Eh, they're worth it. So, this isn't anywhere near as angsty as the other ones have been and the writing style is a little different. Sorry? I'm not entirely certain what happened. THERE WILL BE A PART 2. I'M ALMOST DONE WRITING IT, BUT I'M GOING TO BE A LITTLE BUSY. Thanks for reading anyways!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Here's the next part of last chapter. It was a little too long for one go. Read, review, and enjoy!**

RRRRRR

Ryuji seethed with frustration. Even after all this time Rin was still this uncomfortable around them? It hurt Ryuji to see Rin visibly deflate when walking over to them; it smarted knowing that it was his fault that this happened in the first place.

The worst part had been seeing how well Rin and the Tamers from his school worked together. Watching them move seamlessly into a perfect formation and watching them defeat the demon easily and effortlessly when the True Cross students had been tripping over themselves and getting their butts handed to them, was embarrassing and disheartening. There had been no hesitation, no concern when Rin had burst into those hated blue flames. The Tamers had kept moving along like it was a perfectly normal occurrence. The ones called Karen and Morio had even touched Rin, putting their hands right through the fire, while Rin was all lit up. They didn't fear him for even a second.

Ryuji didn't understand. He'd come to better terms with his own feelings on the matter and it was certainly a lot easier now for him to see what Rin really was, instead of only seeing the blue flames. It had taken a lot of reminiscing on the time before Ryuji knew who Rin's father was before he was able to come to that conclusion, but, in the end, he'd made it. He'd realized that it didn't matter who Rin's father was because _he wasn't his father_. Rin had a problem that Ryuji himself had struggled with, but Ryuji never saw it, or chose to ignore it. Ryuji was always compared to his father when he didn't think that he was anything like the old man, didn't _want_ to be anything like the old man. It was the same with Rin. The elder Okumura was _nothing_ like Satan. He was goofy and one of the kindest people Ryuji had ever met. Sure, Okumura had a bit of a temper and sure, his first reaction is always violence, but that didn't make them the same. Rin was painfully trusting and naïve and emotional.

When Ryuji had looked over towards the group of people who had seemed completely unconcerned with the demon rampaging in their midst, the last thing he had been expecting to see was Rin. He'd almost stuttered over his chants but managed to catch himself in time. His first thought after seeing Rin was that he wasn't ready for this confrontation. Then, the exorcist, Morio, was telling them to move back and out of the way. Ryuji had almost agreed with Izumo, angry at this group of people who thought that they weren't good enough. Clearly, they weren't, but that was a problem for a different time.

Watching Rin fight, though, Ryuji felt his resolve strengthening. This was great! Rin hadn't come back to True Cross since he'd disappeared off to the remote exorcist school. This was their chance to all make amends again. Maybe Rin would come back, let them convince him that he really was wanted back at True Cross.

Then he'd _really_ watched Rin fight. It was abundantly clear how much he'd improved in the time he'd been gone. He wasn't a half-demon burning his surroundings and flailing a sword around. His flames, his sword strokes, Kuro were all completely under his control, everything working flawlessly together and obviously planned.

Thinking on it further as they waited for Okumura-sensei and Kirigakure-sensei to appear, Ryuji realized that Rin himself just seemed better than when he'd left. His skin had a healthy glow to it, still pale but with blood rushing behind it, keeping him healthy and strong. Muscles that were far more defined than they had ever been back at True Cross rippled and shifted under his uniform. His hair was slightly longer and shaggier, but still untamable. It had gained an extra sheen that it hadn't had before, and it was definitely thicker, healthier than it had been. Rin's eyes had changed the most, though.

Even when Rin had first joined the cram school, his eyes had been haunted, a chip on his shoulder too large for his back to carry reflected in his eyes. There had been a brief time, a small window leading up to the fateful camping trip where his eyes had grown lighter, the haunted look retreating a little further back in deference to the joy that would fill Rin's eyes. Then the camping trip happened and something in Rin's eyes had seemed to break, shattering more and more each day. Ryuji hadn't notice any of this, of course, until after Rin had left.

Now, though? Rin's eyes were bright and sparkling, joy practically sparking out of them. They were two precious gems set into his pale face and it fit him so much more than the depressed look he'd been wearing at True Cross. Of course, when he'd seen the exwires from True Cross, those expressive eyes had shuttered slightly, dimming in their presence. It made Ryuji mad that they still affected Rin this way. He wasn't mad at Rin, of course, just at himself.

Sighing, Ryuji resolved to talk to Rin about all of this after they had their meeting with the headmistress.

He didn't get the chance, however, because as soon as they entered the courtyard of the school, Rin was mumbling, "Kuro and I are going to get back to training. We'll be at the obstacle course if you need us." And then he was gone, weaving through the paths of the school like there were demons nipping at his heels.

Ryuji scowled and opened his mouth, but Akio spoke first, "Mikiko and I are going to go train. Karin, you probably shouldn't train with Taka for a while, at least until he's feeling better. You can come join us though. See you later, Morio?"

"Yeah, no problem. Don't eat all the leftovers, alright? Save some for the rest of us." Morio responded, easily lifting a shoulder as he did so. The other students nodded and scampered off in the same direction Rin had gone.

It was silent for a moment before Morio spoke again, voice gone flint hard in the silence, "So, you're the ones that ran Rin out of his old school, huh?"

Ryuji flushed in shame, bowing his heads. He noticed a few others doing the same thing. None of the exwires got a chance to respond, though, before Kirigakure smacked Morio in the back of his hand with an open palm, "Idiot. The situation wasn't really ideal for anyone and you know as well as I do that Rin's therapist told everyone that things would go a lot smoother if people stopped assigning blame to each other."

Morio rubbed the back of his head and glared at Kirigakure. It was actually a pretty impressive glare. Morio hissed, "Really, Shura? You're the same rank as I am. You do not get to slap me in the back of my head. You don't get to slap me, period. What is wrong with you, woman?"

She simply rolled her eyes in response and kept walking. Morio glared after her. Yukio coughed lightly into his palm, "I hadn't known that you and Miss Kirigakure knew each other. Nor did I know that you were so high ranked."

Morio shrugged one shoulder, "It's whatever. She's pretty chill once you get past the fact that she goes out of her way to irritate her coworkers. She fights just as well when she's drunk as when she's not drunk, so I don't have a problem with that. When you keep in mind that she learned her manners from demons, nothing else is really all that offensive, either. If there's one thing I can do, it's work with demons."

Yukio opened his mouth to ask another question, but Izumo beat him to it, "What does it take to be accepted into this school?"

The look Morio flashed the purple-haired girl was, for lack of a more powerful word, dangerous. He swept the gaze up and down and then settled for looking into her eyes, "You'll have to ask the headmistress. There's no set requirements. You get in if she thinks you're good enough. You have to have a strong bond. You have to have the potential for more. You have to have at least some training in both Tamer skills and whatever other Meister you want to get in for. Other than that, it's up to her to decide."

Ryuji had the strangest feeling that maybe Morio didn't want Izumo going to the school.

No one had a chance to say anything else, though, because they had reached the room they were heading towards. Morio's back straightened and his expression smoothed out, at once unreadable and untouchable. He knocked, announced them, and then entered, holding the door for each of them to go through before he came in behind them, closing the door.

The headmistress seemed to be a polar opposite of Mephisto. Her expression was severe and unrelenting, cut into a cold figure that sent shivers down Ryuji's spine. Her clothing was conservative, practical and functional, no thought to style or color. Her office was just as cold as her expression, blank and impersonal. Ryuji tried to imagine going to a school where she was in charge, looming over all of them with that dark expression and those unforgiving eyes. He shivered again, unconsciously.

"Headmistress Hana." Okumura sensei said, inclining his head towards the older woman. She minutely inclined her head back but remained silent. Morio moved to stand behind her, leaned back against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, eyes half-lidded and contemplating. Okumura sensei continued after a moment, "On behalf of True Cross Academy, I would like to thank your students for stepping in and dealing with the demon before it could help my students."

Headmistress Hana's voice was like a sharp whip, slashing through the air, ready to wound, "And why, exactly, were your students roaming the city unaccompanied when the city has been known to occasionally be victim to the high-level demons that make their way there from the forest?"

Okumura sensei swallowed harshly, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he plastered an overly polite smile on his face, "Exorcist Kirigakure and I were dealing with a problem in the exorcist outpost."

"And that problem _needed_ both of you? You couldn't have left one of you with the students? Or called in your headmaster? Or one of the other teachers? Or kept the students with you?" Headmistress Hana asked, voice cool and level. Okumura sensei's head dropped with each question she asked. It was strange watching his teacher get scolded. He understood on a theoretical level that he and Okumura were the same age, but the exorcist acted so much older and more composed than the rest of them that it was hard to tell sometimes. Moments like this brought it back to perspective.

Miss Kirigakure was the one who answered next, voice bored and unapologetic when she commented, "Next time we'll check to see if a demon got past _yer_ wards before we let the kiddies out to play, m'kay?" Morio was smirking into his hand.

For a moment, Ryuji was terrified of what this stern, stoic woman was going to do to Miss Kirigakure. Apparently, he needn't have worried. The headmistress threw her head back and _laughed_ , entire thin body shaking with mirth. Ryuji glanced around and, yes, the other exwires were just as confused as he was.

Headmistress Hana calmed down after a second and watched them with kinder eyes, crinkles spiraling out next to her eyes. She sighed happily, "It's a shame you weren't a Tamer. You would have been a good fit for this school. Maybe we would have been able to get Morio a girl out of it."

Miss Kirigakure smirked and Morio sighed despondently, "I already tried. She rejected me."

Headmistress Hana patted his hand gently, grandmotherly, and said, "Then there truly is no hope for you."

Narrowing her eyes, Miss Kirigakure said, "I think that was offensive towards me too, but I'm not entirely certain."

Eyes laughing, Headmistress Hana turned her attention back to Okumura sensei, "Now really, what are you bunch doing here? Was there a mission you were planning on completing?"

"Ah, no." Okumura sensei said, a fond little smile curling around the corner of his lips like he'd known what she was like, had met the headmistress before. He continued, "We came here to learn from the outpost. Exorcists typically spend part of their training period either as a teacher or at an outpost, so Mephisto decided that it would be a good idea to have them spend some time in both professions. We decided to start with the outpost. This is one of the largest ones in Japan and is notoriously good. They will work for there for several hours each day starting tomorrow."

"Mm," Headmistress Hana hummed, eyes twinkling, "I quite like that idea. I'll have to think about implementing it into the schedule. Perhaps as a night course since they're often too busy during the day…"

"I'm exempt because I already did the real thing, right Headmistress?" Morio sent her a winning grin. She simply smiled peacefully at him, but his grin dropped, and his shoulders slumped. He mumbled, "Should have stuck with my Tamer Meister and not gone for a second one. Why did I willingly go back to school?" The headmistress patted his hand comfortingly again.

"Well," the headmistress said, bringing the attention back to the topic at hand, "Surely you haven't gotten the chance to find lodgings yet. We would be delighted to offer you lodgings here, at the school. And before you say anything, I insist. I think you'll quite like it here and the key to get to the city drops you relatively close to the outpost. And if they're here, you can continue lessons while they are off duty. We have plenty of empty classrooms and dorms for you to take over."

Almost shaking his head with a rue smile, Yukio nodded to her again and said, "Thank you, Headmistress Hana. Are there particular rooms that you would like us to stay in?"

She waved her hand dismissively, "Morio will lead you to some." They started heading out the door, Morio leading the way. They were almost all out the door when Headmistress Hana's voice cracked out again, voice like a spiked whip, "And Mr. Okumura? Please believe me when I say there will be consequences if you or your exwires cause a problem in my school."

Sufficiently cowed, Okumura's eyes flicked towards the headmistress as he said, "Yes, ma'am." Morio hadn't even flinched when the headmistress began her speech.

They started the walk to the dormitories in silence. The halls were quiet, no one in sight as they walked. Eventually, Okumura sensei spoke, "My students told me about the formation your group took when fighting the demon. It sounded brilliant. Who created it?"

"Akio, actually." Morio responded, smile turning fond, "He's something of a genius when it comes to strategy. Although, from what Rin says, he's got nothing on Konekomaru." Morio nodded his head towards the bald monk and Koneko flushed at the attention. Ryuji could tell that he was pleased by the praise, though.

Okumura's smiled slightly, lips sealed and the corners around his eyes tense. Like usual. And people told Ryuji that _he_ needed to relax. They had obviously never met Okumura Yukio. Morio opened his mouth to say something, but all of a sudden, the demon that was walking next to Morio (Ryuji thought he remembered it being called Kryon) keened. Morio's eyes cut to it, instantly kneeling down next to it, uncaring of the dirt that was ground into the knees of his pants. He didn't even notice Izumo almost trip over him, wind-milling her arms to remain standing. She scowled fiercely at him, but the older exorcist wasn't paying attention to anyone but his demon.

Pressing his forehead to the demon's head, Morio swept his fingers over it's skin, checking over it for damage. The demon keened again and Morio frowned. His fingers tightened slightly over the demon, not enough to hurt, but to express his discomfort. Jaw clenching, Morio gently eased the demon into his arms and said, "We're taking a pitstop."

"Why don't you just rip up the summoning paper?" Izumo demanded, "By the time you summon it again, it should be fine."

The look Morio sent her was so scathing that Ryuji almost wanted to take a step back. Morio stood to his full height and hissed, "I don't 'just rip up the summoning paper' because _he_ is right here, and I can help him. Also, how do you _know_ that _he_ will be fine when I summon him back? News flash: the demons go back to Gehenna when the paper is ripped. Another news flash: it's not so nice in Gehenna. One more for you: don't even bother trying to get into this school. You wouldn't last a day."

With that, he swept off, leaving a white-faced and stunned Izumo in his wake. The rest hurried to keep up with him, Shiemi gently ushering the other girl along. Ryuji looked at the way Morio cradled Kryon. It was the way someone would hold the form of their injured best friend, their closest confidant, their family. It was so obvious how strong their connection was.

They had almost reached a small hut when another student came out from the building next to it. He was tall and scruffy, a snake-type demon wrapped tenderly around his neck. He was petting it gently, allowing the demon to lick lightly over his fingers every couple of moments. He seemed to be carrying on a conversation with it. When he saw the group coming, though, he tensed, the demon instantly twirling to a better position that would be easier to launch itself from. The student narrowed his eyes, "You good Morio?"

Morio's expression was twisted with confusion and frustration when he said, "Kryon's hurt. We don't know what's wrong."

The student's expression cleared, empathy taking over his features as he gestured towards the hut, "He doesn't have anyone in there. Don't worry, the Doc will fix Kryon up good as new. Hey, by the way, what's with the flock of exorcists-to-be? New students?"

"Visiting students from another school. They'll be staying here for a couple of days while they practice working at the outpost. Do me a favor and show them to the empty portion of the dorms?" Morio asked suddenly, head lifting, expression painfully hopeful.

The other student smiled and clapped Morio on the back, "No problem, man. Don't want the leader of your squad out of commission. I'll get them where they need to go. You take care of Kryon. Sasha's been waiting for another round with him. Class rivalry and all that." The student smiled reassuringly. Morio gave him a worried smiled back, but didn't say anything, instead heading off to the hut, which must serve as a sort of hospital portion.

Without waiting to see if Morio got into the building, the other student started walking off towards the direction they had originally been heading. Glancing back at the group, Ryuji saw that Kamiki was still looking as scolded and stunned as she had since Morio had snapped at her. The rest of the students were shifting awkwardly, uncomfortable with the situation. Truth be told, Ryuji was a little uncomfortable too.

He hadn't been prepared to see Okumura Rin. That messed him up, put him off his balance, surprised him. Once he got his feet back under him and came to terms with the fact that Rin was there and doing much better but was still scared of them, he'd do better. He'd be less uncomfortable and more interested in learning about this unique school. From what Okumura sensei had said about it before, it was everything Ryuji would want in a school – if he was a Tamer.

The school was _tiny_. Physcially, it was massive, but they only had a total of maybe twelve or thirteen students in the entire school. Rin's class – consisting of, Ryuji now knew, Morio, Rin, Karin, Akio, and Mikiko – was the largest class size that the school had seen in a while. That was kind of horrifying. Also, the school was set up in a three-year process. That was, typically, faster than the four years that most academies did. True Cross's Cram school was special in that aspect too. The three-year process had quick paced and brutal lessons, an intense focus on learning and training all the time. The fact that the headmistress expected most students to learn the Tamer Meister and another Meister at the same time within those time constraints was mind-blowing. It was infinitely harder than anything most exorcists-in-training would have to deal with.

In addition to those oddities, the school had more teachers than students. The individualized education plans were the focus of the teachers, each one bonding with a specific student to keep the student on the education path and to help them tweak it if something wasn't working. It was incredible, really.

Another thing was the isolation. The school was completely hidden in the middle of a demon infested forest. They had to take a key to get to the city. It was said, though, that students had to climb from the city up to the school to be accepted. It was just a rumor of course, but, thinking of the students and the headmistress, Ryuji would be willing to believe that particular rumor. Most exorcist classes were taken in tandem with other classes, college or high school classes normally. This school was entirely focused on exorcist training. Of course, skills that they thought an exorcist should have were taught – basic sciences and math and report writing, etc. – in addition to the exorcist workload.

Overall, it was an incredibly rigorous and challenging program and Ryuji itched with a need for a similar school to be set up for Arias looking to learn different Meisters. In fact, every Meister should have this kind of school available. Of course, it would have still been a slightly difficult decision for Ryuji. If he did this, he would be throwing away his high school education. He wouldn't get a high school diploma out of that kind of school. Without a high school diploma, his decisions were tied to only exorcism. That was what he wanted to do, but still. It was nice to have options, especially for when he retired. He liked the idea of having a back-up, a chance for more.

Ryuji wondered idly why the students here would throw that away. Why did they decide that a high school education wouldn't matter? Morio was already an exorcist, had probably gone to high school when he'd gotten his Meister. Rin wouldn't be able to really fit back into civilized society ever again since his powers had awakened and he had been immersed in this life. What about the others? What about the scruffy student in front of him? The serenely beautiful Mikiko? Karin who had a girlfriend who worked at a restaurant in the town? Akio who was bright faced and ready for anything that came him, armed with a smile? Ryuji wanted to know what their stories were, wanted to know what sent them to this remote, isolated place instead of down a more traditional school path.

He had the feeling that he wasn't going to ever find out.

Suddenly, the group stopped. Ryuji hadn't even noticed them stepping into a building, but they were suddenly in a brightly lit, brightly colored hallway.

The student scratched the back of his neck, the demon effortlessly moving out of the way. He gestured down the hallway, "Anything down here is open for you guys to take. You guys can go one to a room, or two to a room. Whatever."

"Do you go two to a room?" Shima asked, slouching over, hands in his pockets.

The student laughed, "Yeah. There's plenty of room for us each to have, like, four rooms or something crazy, but it's nicer to share a room. With a school this small, it's nice to have someone who's, like, yours or whatever. Your roommate is kind of like your best friend? And the rest of the losers here are just friends. It makes it so we're not all each other's best friend and so we don't spend every waking moment with the whole group. That's part of why they encourage class rivalry so much. Separates us a bit again. You guys good to go?"

Okumura sensei nodded, "Yes, thank you for your time."

"No problem, man. Enjoy your stay." The student said and then wandered off, resuming his conversation with the demon.

Shima's eyebrows drew together, "I have never in my life been to a place where literally everyone is helpful and nice. I think. I'm a little skeptical on the headmistress."

"I think it's all of the overly colorful wallpaper." Kamiki said in distaste, finally pulling herself back together.

A voice from above them said easily, "We were nice before the wallpaper! Some of the students who were good at art decided that the place needed livening up and painted all the walls of the hallways in the dorm building!" The group of exwires looked up to see some sort of ghost leaning casually through the floor, only it's head glancing down at them. Its voice was slightly wobbly, cascading out over them. It was an odd experience.

Another voice shouted, "Argh! What have I told you about leaning through floors and talking to people? Get back up here! Sorry whoever's down there!" The demon ghost laughed silently before pulling itself back through the floor. They could hear the scolding it was getting from where they were standing.

"This school is weird." Shima decided, glancing up and down the hallways before glancing fearfully up at the ceiling, "If I find that thing creeping on my when I'm taking my bath, I will not be amused." Ryuji snorted and Shima glared at him.

Okumura sensei cut through anything else that someone would have said, "Pick a room and put your things away. You have the rest of the evening to unpack and relax. I will inform you about dinner as soon as I find out."

Glancing at each other, the exwires each chose a room and started unpacking.

 **Author's Note: Lame ending, sorry. Also, this portion of the story was really supposed to be a one and done kind of thing – one chapter to just give a little glimpse of his day-to-day life. We're suddenly two chapters in with need for another one. Sorry about that! Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Here's another one! Hopefully, this should finish out this little story arc. Hopefully. We'll see. Thanks for continuing to read this story! Read, review, and enjoy!**

 **Responses to Guest Reviews:**

 **Austin23 – I'm glad I could portray that through my story. Thanks for the review!**

KKKKKK

Konekomaru felt slightly awkward and mostly uncomfortable at this new school. The place was uncomfortably large, with none of the hustle and bustle that True Cross had. It felt like he was walking through an abandoned school on a mission – like there was a chance of a demon appearing around any corner, the exwires spread so thin that no one would hear him if he called out for help.

Then again, Konekomaru mused, there was a good chance that a demon would appear around any corner. It seemed as if all of the students at the school were like Rin in the aspect that they keep a demon out and by their sides at all times. Konekomaru didn't think he had seen that many demons collected in one place on anything other than a mission. It only added to his sense of unease.

The students didn't help. They watched the exwires with something approaching distrust and they tended to avoid the exwires at all costs, skirting around them and going quiet when they passed. It was awkward and confusing. Goodness knew that Konekomaru would be ecstatic at the thought of being able to talk to new people if he was cooped up in this creepy school for weeks at a time. He couldn't imagine going that long with only the small number of students to talk to. Konekomaru wasn't exactly a social butterfly, but that was bordering on ridiculous.

Akio's ever-present smile dimmed and faded away completely when Konekomaru questioned why the students were so cold. Akio's own voice was slightly frigid when he responded, "People only come to this school if it's easier for them to get along with their demons than it is for them to get along with other humans." He'd refused to elaborate, but Konekomaru thought he understood.

He'd seen it, of course. He'd seen it everyday for a long time with Rin. It hurt him, to think that he'd pushed Rin to the point that Rin had seen demons as his refuge, had forsaken humanity. Rin, in the unique position of being half human and half demon, could honestly choose either way and have it still be theoretically acceptable. He could choose to stick with humans or to stick with demons. The option of sticking completely with demons was out. Satan was, from what Rin and Okumura sensei had mentioned, out to get Rin, determined to bring him back to Gehenna. And personal attention from the King of Gehenna could not be good, son or not. Gehenna itself was supposedly a hellscape, a place of nightmares that was directly opposite the light and warmth of this world. That would not be a good option to pick. So, Rin had allied himself with the humans, determined to become an exorcist and defeat Satan. It was a lofty goal, but one that might be achievable with the right people backing him up.

Those people should have been the exwires of True Cross Academy. It should have been Konekomaru and Shima and Bon. _That_ would have made sense, would have been good for everyone. Instead, they had distrusted him and torn him apart with their angry words and their fear. They had failed him. _Konekomaru_ failed him. He turned Rin away from the path of humanity, knowing that the path of demons was not an option either. It was lucky that there was this school that was a blend of the two worlds, focusing a little more heavily on the demon side until humans became less of a threat. Konekomaru didn't want to imagine what would have happened if this hadn't been an option. Rin had attempted suicide, very nearly succeeding. There was a chance that the close proximity with Rin and the knowledge of what he'd almost done would have knocked some sense into the exwires, but Konekomaru didn't quite believe that. He thought it was more likely that the volatile mixture of an easily provoked and obviously embarrassed and emotionally unstable Rin with the concern, frustration, and fear of his classmates would have pushed Rin over the edge, either to the point of a successful suicide, or to the point of a rampage. Neither were good options.

Konekomaru fully believed that the time apart from each other after that horrific event was exactly what they'd all needed. With that separation, both groups were allowed to assimilate the thought of what had happened and what could have happened. They were allowed to grasp the situation completely and analyze mistakes that were made in a safe environment, away from each other.

Konekomaru knew that he, at least, benefited from it. The sight of Rin's blue flames while he was trying to fit the humanity of the suicide attempt with Rin would have made the task impossible. Konekomaru didn't know if he'd ever stop being afraid of Rin if there hadn't been separation.

Now? Now, he just missed his friend. If he even had the right to call Rin that anymore. Or ever. It had taken a long time for Konekomaru to see Rin as a friend. Even though the half-demon was always around, loud and obnoxious and too bright joy, Rin was surprisingly good at fading into the background of life. There had always been something _missing_ from his interactions, a cautiousness that didn't belong between friends.

Konekomaru still wasn't entirely certain what it was about Rin that had kept him at an arm's distance from everyone else, forcing a slower and more reactive friendship. He wasn't sure that he'd ever figure it out. It could have something to do with the thing that Miss Kirigakure mentioned, about Rin never having friends before them. Rin might have just not known how to make friends, how to be a friend. It could have been the secret he was keeping. The possibilities were endless.

Whatever it was that kept him apart from others seemed muted now, though. It was obvious that he had connected more easily, more completely with the students at this school. Konekomaru had seen the way that Karen and Morio had easily patted Rin on the back and hugged him when his flames were glowing blue and deadly around him. It was so far a cry from what Konekomaru himself would have been able to do in that situation that it wasn't even funny.

He'd mainly gotten over his fear, now. The fear was almost completely tempered by the knowledge that it was _Rin_ who was holding the power of those flames. Rin, who hadn't known that there was a difference between birthday cakes and Christmas cakes. Rin, who read flowery romance mangas when he thought no one was watching. Rin, who gave up a secret that could have (still could) very literally cost him his life just to save his friends.

Rin was not his father and he was not a demon. He wasn't entirely human, either, but that was more the fault of the people who had called themselves his friends. It was their machinations and mistrust and general misconduct that led to his fall from humanity.

Konekomaru wished he could apologize for that, for so much. It was surprisingly difficult to get time with Rin, however. The exwires worked long hours at the outpost, coming back to the school desolate and exhausted. If they had the energy to go seek him out, they then ran into the problem of finding him. The school was, as mentioned, enormous, so finding anyone tended to be a challenge in the first place.

Finding Rin specifically seemed to be some sort of sport. The students were vague and unhelpful. Konekomaru didn't really feel that much ill will from any of them except for Morio, so he wasn't sure why the students were so unhelpful. They were either subverting the exwires' attempts to see Rin in a misguided attempt to help the half-demon, or it wasn't an intentional attempt and they really were just that vague. It was weird. And frustrating. Bon in particular seemed to be taking it particularly hard, growing closer and closer to an explosion as the days trudged onwards.

Probably the most frustrating part about not being able to have a proper conversation with Rin was the fact that the exwires _knew_ that Okumura sensei was talking with him during the day. The exorcists from True Cross spent their days switching off on who went with the exwires and who stayed at the school to prepare lesson plans and interact with the student population. It was disheartening to know that Okumura sensei knew that they were looking for Rin but did nothing to aid in their attempts to talk to the older twin. It was, however, understandable. Yukio could become deadly protective when the need arose, especially after recent events. Konekomaru was certain that Okumura sensei blamed himself more than any of the students blamed themselves. He wasn't sure if that was warranted or not. Konekomaru was certain that there was so much more to the entire situation surrounding the Okumura twins than he was privy too. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be any further in that particular plot than he actually was.

Konekomaru was broken from his musings by the sound of chairs scraping against the ground and Okumura's voice saying, "Dismissed. You have free reign of the school grounds. Do _not_ disturb this school's students." And then he stalked off, going somewhere to do something. For someone their own age, Okumura sensei was intensely private and seemed loathe to interact with anyone, whether they were his age or not. Konekomaru wondered idly if Okumura sensei had always been like that. He'd heard somewhere that Okumura sensei was given a Masho at birth from sharing the womb with Rin. Konekomaru could imagine it being difficult for a child to fit in when he was training to be an exorcist and could see things that no one else could.

"Come on," Bon said, stalking away. Shima and Konekomaru shared a glance before heading off after him, struggling to keep up with his significantly longer strides.

"Where are we going?" Konekomaru puffed out, subconsciously willing Bon to slow down, just a little bit. Would it really hurt him to walk at a normal speed? Konekomaru understood that Bon was on a warpath, had known his friend long enough to recognize the signs, but this was honestly ridiculous.

Thankfully, Bon slowed down some, letting the other two members of the Kyoto trio catch up with him, "We're going to see Rin. I'm not going to stop until we find him!"

Konekomaru and Shima shared another glance, but it was Shima who spoke that time, "Are you sure that's really a good idea? I'm starting to think that he doesn't really want to be found." Shima chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, shifting pink hairs in strange directions.

Bon scowled fiercely, "I don't care. He's going to see us whether he wants to or not. I'm going to apologize to him and we are going to have a civil conversation."

"I'm not really sure you're in the right headspace to be having a civil conversation." Shima mused. Bon turned and glared at him, and Shima glanced down quickly, swallowing harshly. Konekomaru put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Shima gave him a small smile.

Konekomaru spoke next, trying to push the point, "I'm really not sure we should be bothering him. I mean, he's still recovering and there's a reason he hasn't come back to True Cross yet. Besides, the students seem like they have a lot to do and Rin has to try to catch up to everyone in both Meisters."

"He can spare a moment." Bon growled, completely ignoring the first part of Konekomaru's speech. The bald monk just sighed in consternation. When Bon was in this kind of mood, all he and Shima could do was just hang on for the ride and work on damage control.

After a long pause, Shima asked carefully, afraid of getting growled at, "Where, exactly, are we heading? Not that it matters! Just curious!" He chuckled awkwardly again.

Bon answered, "We're going to the training room. I heard that Rin spends a lot of time there. I'm sure we'll find him there. If we don't, then we'll just force someone to take us to his where he actually is."

"Ah, okay." Shima said before going quiet. The trip to the training room was silent.

When they got there, it became immediately obvious that it was in use. Akio was sitting against a clear wall, his demon (Konekomaru thought that its name was Hideo and that it was a Qilin, but he wasn't entirely certain) sitting with it's nose pressed up against the glass, eyes tracking something below.

Cautiously, the trio moved towards the glass, looking down below them. Rin was down there with an unfamiliar demon. It was, if Konekomaru remembered correctly, a Myxion. The creature was a sickly olive green with orange spots near it's stomach, mouth, and eyes. It had a gaping mouth with rows and rows of teeth that went all the way down it's throat, three sets of eyes on each side of it's head. In its own, weird way, it was kind of cute.

Rin was at one end of an obstacle field, blindfolded, a mask over his nose and earplugs in his ears, with his body completely relaxed. The Myxion was also blindfolded. There was a large ticking clock in the back and a gun-shaped thing pointing directly at Rin. The Myxion was moving through the course smoothly, avoiding obstacles with ease even though it was blindfolded.

Konekomaru whispered to himself, "What are they doing?"

He'd forgotten that Akio was there until the teen in question answered, "It's probably the hardest exercise a Tamer can do with their demon." Konekomaru jumped, Shima smirked at him.

Bon demanded, "What is it?" He was watching Rin intently.

Akio watched the three of them for a moment before getting up and joining them in watching Rin complete the task, "The Tamer has a memorized list of obstacles, in the order that they are going to appear in the maze. They don't know how far away the obstacles are or how big they are. They just know if they're there. Both the Tamer and demon are blindfolded so they can't see anything. The two of them have to use their telepathic communication to match what the demon is hearing, feeling, smelling and what the Tamer knows of the obstacle course. The aim is for the demon to get to the Tamer before the countdown ends. It's our most recent assignment. Hideo and I, Taka and Karin, Minae and Mikiko are still working on it, but Kryon and Morio have it down and so do Kuro and Rin. Rin's currently trying to get it down with his other demons."

"How is it that I-hate-school Okumura Rin is ahead of most of his class?" Shima asked with a laugh.

Akio sent him a sharp look for a moment, but then he seemed to realize that Shima hadn't meant anything by the comment, genuinely just joking around. Akio settled a little bit, "You know, he's actually a pretty big fan of school. He likes it once he gets it, but he can get a bit frustrated with it if he doesn't. The one on one nature of the school has really helped with that. Plus, he always likes hands-on activities better. This one, he can keep practicing until he gets better. He's ahead because he trains relentlessly. It's kind of crazy. I mean, I know he's got that deadline, but it's seriously intense how much he trains. Maybe it helps relax him. Time training with my demon, just the two of us sharing a headspace always helps me relax." His voice was considering and soft at the end, fingers tangled in the tuft of fur between Hideo's horns.

Konekomaru considered the theory. It would make sense. If the people here really did feel more comfortable with demons than with humans, then it would be understandable if they found comfort in a situation where the only thing that really existed was training and the sound of a demon's voice in your head. He wondered idly what it would be like to share a headspace with a demon and had to suppress a cringe. There was a reason he wasn't a Tamer.

That didn't sound appealing at all. Demons were known to turn on their masters the second they felt something that even felt the tiniest bit like weakness. They were vicious and ready to attack at a moment's notice. Sharing the same mind as something like that seemed like nothing but a recipe for disaster to Konekomaru.

Then again, looking at the way Hideo practically nuzzled into Akio's hand, docile and content, looking at the way the Myxion moved effortlessly in sync with Rin's instructions, trusting his master as much as it's master trusted it, Konekomaru could see where they were coming from. Maybe there was a difference in different types of demons. Maybe it was the strength of their bond. Maybe Tamers all needed to cultivate the kind of relationship that these students had in order to lower the rate of Tamer deaths by the hands of their own demons. Maybe those Tamers were treating the demons wrong. There were a lot of questions about this and few answers.

After a moment of surprisingly comfortable silence, Akio said, "He'll be up after this round. You guys can talk to him then."

Konekomaru stuttered a surprised, "T-thank you."

Akio nodded distractedly before continuing, "Honestly, I'm impressed with your determination. You guys really want to have this conversation with him. If you had shown any less dedication, I wouldn't give you this chance right now." He paused before asking carefully, "Can I ask what you're planning on talking to him about?"

Bon twitched, always loathe to admit to a mistake, but he soldiered on anyways, "I wanted to apologize for… for everything. He deserved better and we failed him. I failed him. I want to show him that we can still be friends, that we can make up for lost time."

Still gazing down at Rin, Akio said softly, "You know, you might want to just let go now. You'll miss him for a little bit, but it might hurt less. No one knows how his exorcist test is going to turn out. If he's given a fair test, he'd totally pass it, no problem. Rin's got this stuff down and can easily get a double Meister. No one's sure if it's going to be a fair test, though. With the number of people who hate him because of something as stupid and out of his control as his parents, there's a real chance that the test will be rigged, or harder, or the results faked. There's a very real chance that he won't survive much longer. You've got to be prepared for that."

"Are you kidding me?" Bon shouted, face turning purple with anger, "You cannot be serious! I'm not just going to give up on him because there's a chance that he might get dealt a losing hand! That's even more reason to not give up on him! With friends behind him, he'll have people to fight for him if that happens!"

Surprising them, Akio started laughing, "You don't have to tell me that. I was just checking to make sure that you at least knew that. You passed both tests. I officially approve of you guys." He beamed at them, a previously unnoticeable tension disappearing from his muscles as he watched them with a goofy grin.

Bon gaped at him. Konekomaru laughed slightly, "You are quite a good actor."

"I think the word you're looking for is spy," Akio responded. Konekomaru was the only one who noticed Shima jump slightly at the action. He wondered what that word meant to Shima. Before he could analyze it further, Akio was continuing, "I worked with the Ministry of State Security of the People's Republic of China for a while before I came here. I was kind of a bridge between the Order and their spy world."

Shima was wearing a thoughtful expression that was just a shade darker from his usual mildly intrigued expression, "A little young to be a professional spy, aren't you?"

"No one suspects a kid." Akio said with a slightly far away smile.

Konekomaru couldn't help but stare in wonder at the Tamer. The teen was easy-going and bright and bubbly. He had a girlfriend and he pampered his demon to high heaven. His gait was easy and open, and he acted startled when people snuck up behind him. Akio was a perfectly normal teenaged exorcist-in-training. The only things that could hint towards a history of espionage were the fact that he was in this special school for the broken Tamers of the world and the scarred and broken visage of his demon. It was sobering to realize that someone as normal seeming, as average, could have been a spy, could still be a spy.

The role of spy was a badly kept secret within the Order. They definitely employed spies even though they claimed they didn't. The Order claimed that there was no threat that required the lies and manipulation of a spy. That didn't stop them from actually using people to those purposes. There were people that Konekomaru had met that, over whispered conversations and in the dark of night, claimed to have held the role of spy for the Order. The stories they told were dark and full of betrayal and heartbreak. The men and women who are able to retire from the role of spy were left broken and desolate. The idea that Akio was able to come from that same role, younger and associated with the entire country of China _and_ the Order and could act like this was something of a miracle to Konekomaru.

He had to admit that there was something to the isolation and student selection of the school. From what Konekomaru had seen of Rin and what he had just learned of Akio, he could tell that there was something of a healing property in the way the school was run and in the choice of members.

Shima's abrupt laughter broke Konekomaru out of his thoughts, "What was that?" Shima sounded entirely too delighted for Konekomaru's taste. Something that amused Shima that much was never a good thing.

Peering back through the glass wall, Konekomaru's thin eyebrows rose as he watched Rin shake his head, sending drops of what looked like red paint flying from his shaggy hair. It covered his entire front and was dripping slightly down onto the floor. The Myxion was shaking with what seemed to be laughter while Rin was scowling at it, happiness still radiating from his bright eyes.

Akio's lips were curled up at the corners, "That means he failed. That gun like thing? Shoots a ton of red paint at you. Hideo and I did a training marathon the other day, the same way Rin normally does. I was _soaked_ in the paint. Like, I'm still finding spots of paint. It's ridiculous."

"I feel like that's more incentive for the demons to fail. Like, if I was a demon, I would totally flunk on purpose so my Tamer would end up covered in red paint." Shima said, shoulders slouched and a small smirk on his face.

Akio laughed, "Can't say it hasn't happened. Luckily, not to me. Hideo says that it smells weird, so he doesn't like it when I'm covered in it. I think Kuro did it to Rin once. That one ended up in a wrestling match across the fields that Rin won. I think the winner decided if that was ever going to happen again."

Their laughter was cut off by the sounds of the inner door opening. Rin, drier but still covered in paint, stopped short at the sight of him, smile dying on his lips. Akio walked over and clapped him on the shoulder, Hideo and Myxion bumping shoulders amiably at their feet. Akio easily cut through the tension in the room, "You and Emon almost got through it, yeah? I bet you you'll get it next time."

Rin relaxed minutely with Akio's words, "Almost. We're going to try again after dinner. See if a little food can get us through this time. I'm going to go shower and then get started." He hesitated for a noticeable moment before turning to the Kyoto trio, "If you three want to join, you can. It's a boy's night thing. Morio, Akio, and Yukio will be there."

Shima tilted his head to the side, "All of their names rhyme. That's kind of weird."

Rin paused for a moment, "Yeah, that is kind of weird." He shook his head, grimacing when a drop of paint slid down near his ear, "Anyways, you guys can follow me to my dorm if you'd like. Like I said, I'm going to shower really quick, change, and then start on dinner." There was another noticeable pause before he said, attempting to be nonchalant, "We can catch up."

Akio watched them all carefully, asking, "Meet you in about an hour, then?" Rin's eyes flickered to him before he nodded, smiling at his friend.

Konekomaru shifted awkwardly as Akio headed out of the training room, presumably back to his own dorm or somewhere like that. Shima was silent, too, which was surprising. He was normally the one who broke the silence, making any sort of comment he could to ease tension in the room. It didn't always work, but he almost always made an attempt. Konekomaru wondered how Shima felt about the whole thing. Even though the exwires had plenty of time and opportunity to think about Rin and his situation and their roles in it, they didn't actually talk to each other about it all that much. Shima had been especially silent on the matter, quickly changing the subject or deflecting onto someone else if the topic even came up.

Konekomaru's attention was snapped back to the present when Rin started walking away, leading the way towards his dorm. The walk back to his room was silent, even Bon content to respect the quiet that had fallen over them. The silence was less awkward when they were walking. There was a lot to look at, to observe and wonder at, around the school grounds and the walk wasn't particularly far.

Feeling himself start to relax on the leisurely walk back to the dorm building, Konekomaru gave himself a chance to look around. The campus really was beautiful, a sort of Roman hint to the architecture that looked completely out of place in the middle of a Japanese forest. It didn't detract from the beauty, though, only giving it a different tint. It was unique, in its own way. Beautiful because of it's uniqueness or beautiful in spite of it, Konekomaru didn't know. He suspected that was the point, though. It kind of reminded him of the students. Beautiful because of their damage or beautiful in spite of it. That kind of riddle fascinated Konekomaru. It fit his analytical mind, fit his love of creating strategies, understanding people in order to understand how to fit them into a plan.

The trees outlining the campus grounds were a little bit more intimidating, though. They rose tall and thick over the edges of the ornate wall surrounding the campus. Their bark was dark and their canopies bright and thorough, blocking any chance of sunlight reaching the brush. It looked like some sort of haunted forest straight out of a horror movie.

Konekomaru broke the silence, "The headmistress said that the forest is home to a high density of low- to mid-level demons." It was a random fact and probably not one that needed to be shared aloud, but Konekomaru had just been reminded of it.

Rin glanced back a him, a smile softening the nerves in his expression, "Yeah, there are a couple of high-level ones, too, but they mostly stay away from humans."

"Do you ever go out there?" Bon asked curiously, strange silence broken in favor of his unending thirst for knowledge.

Rin nodded, "Yep. It's not really recommended because, again, a lot of demons and a lot of dangerous ones, but sometimes you've just got to get out, you know? The campus is huge, which means there's a lot of places that work for privacy, but sometimes it's a little suffocating to stare at the same walls every single day. So, the teachers know that all the students sometimes hop the fence and wander around. They just say that we have to have our phones on us and that we shouldn't wander too far from the gates. Don't get lost is a pretty big thing, too." He shrugged, glancing out easily into the wide, gaping darkness of the horror-film forest. Konekomaru shivered at the thought of wandering into that place alone, knowing that it wasn't just creepy looking, that there was actual danger lurking within it's bounds. The rest of the walk saw everyone locked in contemplative silence, but it was an even easier silence than before, even closer to the comfortable silences that had come over the four of them when they would hang out at True Cross.

Rin lead them into his dorm and said, "You guys can wait in the bedroom area. I'm going to just shower really quick." He started walking towards a closed door, muttering under his breath.

Although Konekomaru should have expected it from the Tamer school and what he knew of this place, it still startled him when a female imp popped into existence, blinking huge eyes up at Rin and making a serious of noises in a different language. Rin laughed and responded, "Yes, Eimi, I'm failing my assignments just to make you happy." The demon, Eimi, responded in another round of delighted noises and Rin patted its head. Eimi squinted her eyes in apparent pleasure, disappearing into the bathroom with Rin. She appeared a moment later with an armful of Rin's clothes.

The shower started running in another room while she put the red smeared clothes into a laundry basket. Humming lightly under her breath and seemingly paying no heed to the humans in the room, the medium sized imp gathered a fresh set of clothes and trotted back into the bathroom with them in her arms. She must have deposited them there because she came back out without them, slinging the laundry basket over her back and disappearing out of the room, the faint, lasting notes of the song she was humming tingling in the air behind her.

Shima blinked, "Does Rin use his summoned demon to do his laundry?"

"I mean, Mephisto used Ukobach for cooking until Rin stole him and brought him here." Bon shrugged, seemingly as weirded out about it as Shima, but not quite willing to show it. He continued to stare at the door that the imp had left out of.

Konekomaru cleared his throat to get their attention, "Perhaps we should discuss what we want to talk about with Rin so it won't be as awkward again and so no one charges in, emotions blazing." He sent a pointed glance at Bon, who had the wherewithal to at least blush.

"What's there to talk about? We want to apologize. He'll probably try to deny the need and get all flustered and then Bon will get angry even if he tries to not get angry and then Rin will get angry and then me and Koneko will calm him down and nothing will have changed." Shima listed off nearly emotionlessly, scratching the side of his chin.

Bon stared at him incredulously, "What is wrong with you? Why would you say something like that?"

"It's going to be okay!" Konekomaru tried to keep the peace, "If we just keep calm and stay focused on what we came here to do, it'll all be okay. We can work this out. Everyone has gotten better."

Shima's expression darkened for a moment, but after a pause, he admitted, "… Right." Bon and Konekomaru shared a glance but weren't able to say anything before the shower clicked off and there were the sounds of a ruffling, like a towel over hair.

They sat silent as Rin started to come out, dressing in the clothes Eimi had gotten out for him. He seemed more relaxed, shoulders losing some of their tenseness, expression more open than Konekomaru had seen it since they had gotten to the school. Kuro was back, winding between Rin's pant legs and purring loudly. Konekomaru had a feeling that the purring Cait Sithe was the was a good portion of the reason for Rin's relaxed state.

Shima, despite his strange attitude earlier, was the first one to speak, suddenly back to normal, "You certainly look better than before."

"I don't know," Rin grinned, "I think I really pulled off the red paint. Fit my bright personality."

Shima laughed, "Yeah, sure you did. Hey, we going to get to cooking, or no? Because, if there's one thing I've missed, it's your cooking!" Konekomaru and Bon froze, looking at Rin with wide eyes. Why would Shima bring that up? Did he have _any_ tact?

Rin didn't react all that much, though, just smiling serenely and saying, "I've missed cooking for you guys. Especially you, Shima. You make the most ridiculous noises and comments when you eat it."

Konekomaru glanced curiously at Rin, confused at the sudden change. Rin had been nothing but distant and cut off from them in the time they had been there. Suddenly, he was warm and welcoming, almost the Rin they used to know, but warmer and… more real? Konekomaru could tell that, now, could tell that the happy face he'd worn around them before had been mainly faked, a mask to hide his pain. It hurt Konekomaru to think that Rin had been hurting so much before, that the change was this obvious. At the same time, he was overjoyed that Rin was able to start to relax around them and be happy where they were.

Rin gestured towards the door, "The kitchen is just down this hallway. Luckily, I was placed in a room that was pretty near the cooking area. Especially since my class ends up making me cook so often."

He glanced back at them and Konekomaru gave him a comforting smile, "Sounds lucky. And no one else is bothered that you take over the kitchens? What about the students in the other classes?"

"There are actually three kitchens throughout the school, so it's not that much of a hardship, honestly. If I'm cooking in the dorm room kitchen, then they'll just go over to the main kitchen. It's a lot bigger and kind of cold, but it works just fine. Sometimes, the staff will let us use their kitchen too. Sometimes I'll cook for the entire school, too. It's not that bad since we're so small." Rin answered easily, winding through the corridors. Konekomaru noticed the 'we' in Rin's statement and inwardly winced. Rin was at home here, comfortable at the school and easily a part of the student body. He wasn't sure if Rin would ever come back to True Cross, not when he thought like that.

Bon cleared his throat and said gruffly, "Maybe tomorrow night, you could just cook for the True Cross kids. Have a kind of reunion of sorts. None of us have really been able to hang out all that much because of work at the outpost and classes on top of it."

"Yeah, I think I'd like that." Rin said, a larger smile taking up his face, stretching his cheeks before the smile dimmed a little bit in confusion, "Wait, work at the outpost?"

Bon raised his eyebrows incredulously, "Why did you think we were here?"

"I don't know! No one told me! I guess I just assumed that you were on a mission and decided to wait here for a little bit while you try to find the demon or something!" Rin answered defensively.

Bon's eyebrows rose higher, "Why would they call us when they have an entire school of elite Tamers to take care of the threat within key distance?" They had reached the kitchen and Rin's tail immediately whipped out and gathered the apron, pulling it over Rin's head. It was kind of disconcerting to watch.

"Oh, so we're elite, huh?" Rin smirked before putting a finger to his chin in exaggerated thought, "Then again, we did manage to easily beat that demon that you couldn't even scratch."

Konekomaru watched in amusement as Bon's face turned red and then purple, already furiously protesting. Rin laughed and waved him off, gathering kitchen supplies and the materials he would need to start cooking. It was just like old times.

No, actually, it wasn't. And Konekomaru didn't want it to be like old times. Old times meant that Rin was hurting and felt the need to hide his pain. He didn't want that. Konekomaru wanted everyday to be like this, where Rin was genuine and healing and no longer thought that death was the only option. This was what he wanted.

Silence fell over the group, the only sounds being Rin's cooking and Kuro's occasional purrs. Suddenly, Bon broke the quiet, "I wanted to apologize."

Rin glanced over at him, startled, "For what?"

Bon blushed, but pushed through it, trying his best to avoid being flustered, "I wanted to apologize for the way we treated you back at True Cross."

Rin ducked his head, cheeks heating. He didn't deny it or try to change the subject like Konekomaru thought he would. Instead, he lifted his head again, staring resolutely at his food as he said, "Look, we all made mistakes there. I should have trusted you, should have revealed my secret in literally any way that didn't involve me burning a forest down and _snarling_ at you guys. You guys should have trusted me and understood that this wasn't my choice. I should have spoken up when it got bad. You shouldn't have bullied me." Konekomaru winced when he saw Bon flinch at the word 'bully.' There was nothing in the world that Bon hated more than bullies, so it had to hurt being called one. Rin continued calmly, "When you guys got here, I should have been more cordial and welcoming. I was wrong-footed by your appearance. I was expecting that any sort of meet-up we would have would be at True Cross, not here. Not in my safe space. Although, I would like to point out that, while I was purposefully avoiding you the first day, the rest of the time I haven't been avoiding you. I really have been training and working through classes. I had a mission yesterday, too, so there was that."

Bon opened his mouth, probably to apologize again, but Shima spoke first, "So, I'm taking it that you're taking a no apologies from everyone because everyone is to blame so no one is to blame kind of approach? Forgive and forget just without the actual forgetting because then anything we learned would be gone? That kind of thing?"

"That's how my therapist recommended I approach it and it seems to be working. I've been able to call and email Yukio that way. I've seen Mephisto and talked to Shura with a lot more ease because of that approach. Paladin Angel is a different story, but he's kind of weird, so…" Rin answered, hand flickering over the pan as he added some sort of spice or another.

Shima peered at the bowl, "Is that Gyudon? That seems like a really complicated Gyudon."

"Yeah, that's basically it. Just a few more spices and a couple vegetables." Rin answered, flashing him a smile. Bon was fuming in the background.

Making an interested sound, Shima hopped up on the counter next to Kuro, almost sitting on the demon. He leaned over and looked at the small army of ingredients, "What are the eggs for?"

"Hm? Oh, there's actually quite a few recipes that call for mixing eggs in on top of the Gyudon. It's optional, but I've always done it, personally." Rin answered, continuing to brown the meats and vegetables in the pan.

Bon exploded, "That's it? We're just going to let it all go? Ignore what happened?"

Rin stiffened, Kuro pausing for a moment. The demon didn't start moving until Rin relaxed, voice forcibly calm when he responded, "Suguro. _I don't blame you for what happened_. You might blame yourself and I can't help that, but I don't blame you. If you want to make up for it or get rid of your guilt or whatever, then you can start by trying to understand where I'm coming from. This was a… a big ordeal for me and I want it gone. I can't just get rid of it, but I can work towards getting better. I can't do that if people are determined to keep pulling me back to that time. Please, just work with me and help me move forward."

Staring at Rin, Bon appeared deep in thought. The redness had faded from his cheeks and his fists had loosened by his hips. After a second, he slumped completely, "Yeah, okay. I can get that." He paused again and asked quietly, "So, you really don't want to come back?"

Rin slumped, "I told you when I was in the hospital. I'd come back for breaks and long weekends. There was one coming up that I was planning on visiting during. And _yes_ , I know that's not what you meant. It's just… this is a place for broken things to get fixed. And getting fixed isn't easy. It takes time. I'm not ready to return. I don't know if I ever will be in the time that I have until I need to take my test. Then, I'll be an exorcist and I can go wherever I want, do whatever I want. Maybe I'll come back then and be a teacher for a little bit. How would that be? You'd have two Okumura sensei's." He grinned at them, quick and fragile, but real.

Bon shook his head and laughed slightly, "I bet I'd have to be correcting you all the time on stuff. We'd end up teaching you."

"Oh really? Then what's the best swing combo for a Cohuatl? Bet you don't know that, Mr. Aria and Dragoon and knows nothing about Knight!" Rin taunted, dancing out of the way when Bon lunged for him, Shima laughing on the countertop, Kuro laughing right along with him.

Konekomaru smiled happily. They weren't getting back to normal. They were finding a new normal that was so much better than what they'd had before.

 **Author's Note: So, that could theoretically be the end of that little story arc there. If you guys want, I can write the 'True Cross reunion dinner' thing. Up to you. Let me know. Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Since enough people asked for it, here it is! The True Cross Reunion Dinner! I hope you guys like it. THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER. I adore this story, but based on how long it took me to get the motivation to finish this chapter alone, I can already tell that I'm done with this story. I hope you enjoy this last bit! Read, review, and enjoy!**

 **Responses to Guest Reviews:**

 **Bianca – Here you go, another chapter! Thank you for the super sweet review!**

RRRRRR

Rin was understandably nervous. Actually, scratch that. He was more than nervous. He wasn't even sure if there was a word to describe what he was feeling. Rin was sick to his stomach and shaky and unable to fully focus on anything. He was cooking for the entire exwire class of True Cross. His friends. His _former_ friends. His current friends?

He didn't know. He had zero clue and all that did was add to his nerves. And, sure, by this point, the only ones he hadn't really interacted with were Kamiki and Moriyama, but still. There was something different, something more intimidating about being faced with the entire group of them head-on. There was something more dangerous and painful about putting himself back in a situation so reminiscent to the days where he'd hated himself more than he'd hated anyone in his life.

It was fine, though. He'd grown and matured and changed throughout this entire process. It seemed like the rest of the exwires had grown and matured too. This would be nothing like what life had been before. _They_ would be nothing like they were before. This was a completely different situation to the life he'd lived before at True Cross. He just had to keep telling himself that.

A hand ruffling his hair distracted him, "Ah! Morio! Quit that!"

Morio pulled back, laughing, "You need to relax! If you're all tense like that, you won't be able to enjoy it."

"I'm not sure if I'll be able to enjoy it anyways," Rin admitted, sighing and attempting to pat his hair back into place.

Shrugging, Morio hopped up on the counter, reminding Rin starkly of Shima, who had done the same time. Morio tipped his head back to lean against a cabinet of the kitchen, "You know as well as anyone else that you don't have to do this if you don't want to. This is entirely up to you. Everyone cares and wants you to be happy in this process. At least, we do. And we'll fight anyone who says different. I'd love to see those exwires fight us. They'd be decimated."

He sounded entirely too gleeful for Rin's taste, so he rolled his eyes and pushed one of Morio's legs out of the way to get to a pot, "Yeah, yeah. I know. Please don't decimate them. It's been fine so far, but this will be different, with all of them there. You know? And Kamiki and Shiemi are… different. Kamiki didn't really treat me all that different from before because that's just how she is, you know? A cold attitude is the way she protects herself. Shiemi was _so_ afraid of me. The same as Konekomaru. But I was friends with Shiemi longer. She's so open and so eager to make friends. That's why it hurt a lot when she was scared of me. I was one of her first friends and that didn't matter to her anymore because I'm the son of Satan."

Morio listened to Rin rant in silence. He paused after Rin finished, probably waiting to see if Rin was going to say anything else. When Rin didn't, Morio said, "You've always wanted to see them again and, from what the others have told me, those three guys have been pretty eager to see you. Your brother was certainly eager to talk to you and see you. My guess is that these guys didn't get the same kind of therapy you did. What they went through was traumatic and they had each other and time to help them heal, but no one taught them how to grow from the experience like our therapist did with you. They want this to be better, but they don't know how to make it better, not like you do. If you just give them a chance, it'll all work out. You might accidentally hurt each other in the process, but it'll be worth it in the long run." He grinned suddenly, "Besides, your cooking can win anyone over!"

Rin rolled his eyes. Morio tried to reach out and ruffle Rin's hair again, but Rin was ready this time, tail whipping around to grip Morio's hand before he could do anything. Morio tried to grin innocently. Sighing, Rin moved on to another topic, "How's Kryon? Has he been doing okay?"

"Yeah, he's doing great. He has to sleep in the dorm a lot, obviously, but he's doing a lot better. Who knew that he was allergic to seaweed? I hadn't even known that demons could be allergic to stuff, honestly. Talk about a learning experience." Morio answered, sending a fond look back toward their room.

Rin hummed a note of interest, whisking in the next ingredient, "Speaking of that, I heard that Akio's using that as his final project. A way to do allergy tests on demons. He says that it's so hard because of the different systems and different skin types. Apparently, it's super hard to universalize one."

Morio's eyes lit up, "Please tell me that he's experimenting on you. That would be perfect. _Please_ tell me that's what he's doing."

Rolling his eyes, Rin hip checked Morio's leg, " _No_ , he's not experimenting on me. He's not even close to that stage anyways."

Laughing, Morio asked, "What did you say your big project was going to be? Final thesis or whatever it was called."

"I'm going to look into the reasons why the bond between an exorcist and their demon causing disorientation after disconnect and how to stop that. You?" Rin asked, throwing a little bit more of the last ingredient in. The sauce hadn't quite tasted right, but… there. That was it. He squinted as he rolled the sauce on his tongue. Nope. The aftertaste was weird. Rin sighed and grabbed one of the other spices, tossing a handful in.

Morio sighed, leaning his head back, "I don't know, man. I'm an Aria! That doesn't really relate well with Tamer research!"

Snorting, Rin stirred the sauce vigorously, "Excuses, excuses!"

Groaning, Morio hit his head back against the overhead counters, "I know! Trust me, I heard the whole lecture from my advisor _and_ Headmistress Hana. I don't know. I guess… I really liked those demon psychology guest lectures they did the other day. I was thinking of looking further into that for ideas. It'll be easier if I can connect it to my Aria meister, but that'll be hard."

Rin hummed thoughtfully, "Maybe you could look into how demons feel about fatal verses? Or, no, that's dumb."

"No idea is dumb," Morio threw in instantly. It was something he'd taken to doing when he realized just how little Rin thought of his own intelligence. Rin always rolled his eyes after hearing it, but it really was helping to have those kinds of positive thoughts constantly thrown at him.

Continuing like he hadn't heard Morio, Rin said, "Or you could see why certain fatal verses work with certain demons. Like, what part of the holy books makes it so they're fatal for that demon. What part of the wording? Does it have to do with their psychology, with their physical attributes? Stuff like that. I don't know."

When he chanced a look back over towards Morio, the older student was staring at him with something akin to starstruck awe shining in his eyes, "That's literally the most brilliant thing I've ever heard. I need to write that down." He started patting down his pockets, looking for pen and paper. Rin rolled his eyes and pulled a drawer open with his tail. There was a pad of paper that Morio immediately grabbed, fingers twitching for a moment before he remembered the pencil tucked securely behind his ear. Morio grabbed it, starting to quickly jot down ideas.

Rin raised his eyebrows when Morio kept writing far beyond what should have just been a couple of seconds to write Rin's words down. Apparently, he'd had more ideas about the topic than Rin had expected. Smiling fondly, Rin turned back to his cooking, letting himself fall into the familiar rhythms of a kitchen. He'd never made the dish before, but it was suitably complicated to keep him distracted without being too complicated. It was the perfect kind of meal to make when he was nervous about something.

And he was still nervous. Even after Morio's attempt at redirecting the conversation. Taking a deep breath, Rin tried to let the comforting lull of the kitchen direct his wandering thoughts. He knew that he needed to get his feelings in order _before_ he faced the True Cross students. If he tried to face them with anything less than a complete understanding of his own emotions, he'd be just as wrong-footed as he'd been the rest of the time they'd been at his school. That wrong-footed, awkward nature made it harder on everyone, including the other students at this school. And the last thing Rin's classmates needed was someone making things harder for them.

So. Feelings. Those things. What was Rin feeling at that exact moment?

Nervousness, as previously stated. Where was the root of the nervousness? What, _exactly_ , was causing the nervousness? Thinking on it, Rin figured it was a fear of relapse. From his time talking to Yukio and the others, he knew that the True Cross exwires had grown past their initial fear and hatred of him. He didn't think he needed to fear anger or prejudice from them. Well, he was going to _trust_ that he didn't need to fear anger or prejudice from them. So, it must be his fear that seeing them, being subjected to the memories of when his life was so low, would cause him to relapse. He didn't want to relapse. He'd certainly done it once or twice and it wasn't pretty for anyone. It _sucked_ , really. Falling back into that pit of despair and self-hatred was the _worst_ , especially now that his work with the school's therapist had gotten him to an all-time high with self-confidence and love.

What else was he feeling?

Excitement. The root of that was pretty obvious, at least to him. He was really excited to see everyone again. No matter what kinds of mistakes they all made, the other exwires were the first friends that Rin ever made. Their cruelty and his suicide attempt didn't change that fact. Knowing that they were all willing to come have dinner with him, that they were all excited at the prospect of seeing him, of trying to make it up to him, it reminded him of why they became his friends in the first place. It made it easier to accept them back into his life. Even though this wasn't the right time to be confronted with them and even though he was nervous about this, he was glad it was happening. The excitement didn't quite cancel out the nervousness, but it was a close thing.

Anything else?

Fear. A deep-rooted fear. He _hated_ that he was afraid of them, but he couldn't help it. He'd talked it over with his therapist and she figured that it would be a _long_ time before he truly got rid of the seemingly ingrained fear of humans. The students at his current school were different. Rin was pretty sure they were just as afraid of other humans as he was. Their connection with their demons made them almost demon-like in their own rights, the same way Shura never quite outgrew the demon-like qualities she obtained from being raised by demons. That made it so Rin could be a little more comfortable around these people who were almost demon. There was less to be afraid of here. Not like with the other exorcists, the people who hunted his kind, who would kill first, ask questions later – maybe never. Then again, he had proof that some could change. Paladin Angel's reluctant, slow, awkward transition into someone who almost cared about Rin's well-being was an example of that.

Did he feel anything else?

Blushing a little bit, Rin admitted to himself that he might, just a little tiny bit, be feeling some sort of lust. Was that the right term? He could readily admit that he'd had a crush on most of his True Cross classmates at some point or another. Suguro was just… so cool! He was so smart while still looking like an awesome punk. Shima was a totally suave, awesome person who was so chill that you couldn't help but form at least a little crush. Kamiki was so aloof, so powerful that Rin couldn't help the way his admiration had slowly shifted into some sort of fond longing. He didn't really have much of a crush on Konekomaru or Shiemi. Well, he might have had a moment where he crushed on Shiemi (she was just so cute!), but that crush evaporated the moment he realized that his brother was head over heels for the blonde.

His little crushes wouldn't matter all that much, but he hadn't really been put in a situation where he had to deal with crushes for a long while. When he'd come to this school, he had _not_ been in the right headspace for forming crushes, so his interactions with the other students weren't tinted by even the most innocent crush. Now he had to fair three people he was semi-crushing on at the same time! It wasn't fair.

Rin shook his head. He was going to ignore that emotion. This wasn't the time or place for crushes. And if he really wanted anything to come out of any of his crushes, then he needed to stop being so nervous at just the thought of eating a simple meal with them. Being afraid of them didn't really help either.

Rin sighed, popping something in the oven quickly before going back to the stove, idly mixing one or two items with a long wooden spoon. He really thought the sick feeling in his stomach would settle the closer he got to the time they were supposed to meet for dinner, but it really wasn't working. If anything, it seemed to be getting worse.

What else did his therapist recommend doing when he was getting worked up over something? Categorizing his emotions and the roots of them obviously didn't help much.

He needed to think of the good things. That was it. If he tried to think of good memories, he'd feel better. He needed to focus on the happy bonds he'd made with these people. Hopefully, that would lessen some of the nervousness that was roiling angrily in his stomach. Hopefully.

So, while he cooked, Rin reminisced about his favorite moments with those people. He smiled fondly as memories popped up, one after the other.

He remembered sitting with the Kyoto trio for lunch one day. It was one of the few days where Suguro hadn't made some token effort to grumble about Rin's presence. Rin had been able to just plop down into the seat, already animatedly diving into a discussion of the new video game he and Shima had tried out the day before. They were both trying to draw Konekomaru into playing the game. The kid had some sort of visceral fear of video games. Rin personally thought that Konekomaru was more afraid of Shima and Rin's vivacious attitudes while playing than of the game itself. They'd talked about the game for fifteen minutes before Suguro had slipped up and admitted that he'd played the game before. It was easy to drag the teen into their conversation. He'd gotten so animated discussing it, too, all wildly waving arms and bright expressions.

He remembered one quiet day when he'd actually gone to the library. Rin had needed actual book references for one of his school projects and had braved the library alone (his brother had been on a mission at the time and the Kyoto trio had all gotten the same stomach bug). Sighing, Rin had settled despondently onto a table near the back, squinting at the books in a vain attempt to make them reveal their secrets. Why couldn't he use the internet? That would be a much easier and more convenient way to get this information! He'd use credible sources! Kamiki and Paku had come around the corner of a bookcase, visibly startling at the sight of him. Apparently, that table was the table they always used to do their work because no one ever sat at it. He'd offered to move, but Paku had immediately refused, saying that he was there first and there was plenty of room. They'd spent the rest of the afternoon either sitting in comfortable silence or making idle conversation about their projects, actually helping each other from time to time. Kamiki was calm enough that day that she hadn't been snarky about Rin trying to help. She'd actually taken his advice to heart and thanked him for it, though she'd said that she'd deny it if someone ever asked.

He remembered visiting Shiemi at her garden while his brother got supplies from the shop. He and Shiemi had been carefully weeding one of the garden areas, hands smeared with dirt and faces dripping sweat in the hot air when Shiemi's mother had come out of the side door, preparing to ask Shiemi where one of the items went. Apparently, Rin had looked 'wan and thin, more like a dirty ragdoll than an aspiring exorcist.' Shiemi's mother's words, not his. He'd been mildly offended, but it had been one of his better days and, honestly, anyone giving him positive attention at that point was well appreciated. Shiemi's mother had immediately invited Rin inside, bringing him cookies and a soothing tea, telling him that he simply needed to sit there and relax for a little bit. After Yukio had gotten his supplies, Shiemi's mother had shooed him out, telling him that she'd get Rin back to the dorms in time for dinner. Yukio had left, slightly offended, but mostly amused. Rin had spent the rest of the afternoon being pampered by Shiemi and her mother. (There might have, possibly, been some experimenting with makeup that showed Rin that he'd be a _gorgeous_ woman).

He remembered long weekends waking up at four in the morning in order to get to the batting cages by 4:30 where Shura would be waiting, slightly sluggish and definitely hungover, nursing a bloody Mary to tide her over. They would work on Rin's sword work for _hours_ only stopping once Rin completed whatever goal Shura had set for the day. He'd missed plenty of lunches trying to meet those goals. But there were plenty of days where he'd finish in time and they'd eat lunch together, sprawled out over the gymnasium floor like some kind of bizarre picnic. They'd talk and laugh and mock and tease and it was perfect. It was kind of like what Rin imagined having a mom would be like. Maybe that was silly, but what would Rin know? He'd never really had any sort of female figure in his life. The feeling that Shura was like a mother to him would intensify in the afternoons when they would spend the entire time trying to practice with Rin's fire. She would heckle and prod him as much as he needed, switching to simple comforts and easy understanding when she knew he needed it.

He remembered playing chess with Mephisto, trying to remember what each of the pieces meant while Mephisto looked on with this open expression of total, complete patience. He always waited for Rin to struggle through his memory of the pieces and the game play. He always repeated the rules whenever Rin forgot. There was always something beautifully fond in Mephisto's expression when the two of them would sit in his weird, Otaku lair playing chess. It made Rin feel like maybe he wasn't just a chess piece to Mephisto. Maybe, sometimes, Mephisto thought of him as a brother before he thought of him as a pawn.

He remembered an entire childhood with Yukio. Days and days of playing with his little brother. There would be days where the two of them would be sitting on the floor, Yukio building elaborate battle scenes with his blocks as Rin used the ever-changing map to wage war with his action figures. The Old Man would always hear them shrieking with joy and would just sit there, hip leaned against the door frame as light filtered over his kids.

Rin shut down that line of thinking. The therapist had been working on his self-image as a demon, but they hadn't gotten into the former Paladin's death yet. It was… it was too much for Rin. He wasn't ready to face that yet. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to face that (even though it faced him every night in his dreams. Blood splattered the ground as he was sucked through squelching depravity, his father being ripped apart from the _monster_ who tried to claim the same title, horror lighting the room as one of the only people who really, truly believed in Rin, who would never have been afraid of him, died in front him. Rin had been powerless to save him, powerless to do anything but watch as his world was torn to shreds).

Sighing, Rin glanced at the clock. It was almost time.

Soft fur rubbing against his ankles startled him. Rin almost dropped his spoon before he realized it was just Kuro winding between his ankles. Reaching down to pet Kuro between the little nubby horns, he asked, "What are you doing, buddy? I thought you were going to stay back in the dorm with Kryon."

" _I wanted to make sure you were alright with the whole dinner thing. Kryon said that I should come be with you because he knows how worried you are_ ," Kuro informed him, starting a loud purr that tickled at Rin's exposed ankles.

Scoffing, Rin said, "Kyron's a worry wart and you can tell him I said that. Really, I'm fine."

Kuro pouted up at him, " _It's okay to not be fine._ "

"I know, I know! Trust me, I know. But I really am fine. I feel a lot better about it now," Rin said, sending the smaller demon a crooked grin.

Kuro preened under it, " _I'm glad I was able to make you feel that much better! See? Kryon was right to send me in. Obviously. Oh, also, Ukobach said to check that you knew that he was going to make dessert while the rest of you were having dinner. He said he's making stuff for me and Kryon too! He said he'd bring that to the dorm, but I'm going to eat with you. I'm obviously helping you, so I've got to eat with you now._ "

Raising an eyebrow, Rin attempted to send Kuro a stern expression, knowing he was failing miserably, "You just want to get pet again, don't you?"

Kuro tried to remain ignorant, but quickly caved under Rin's attention, " _Konekomaru gives the best pets!_ "

Rin laughed, rolling his eyes. After one more taste of the sauce and one more check of the time, he bumped his knee against Morio's leg, "Hey, they should all be there by now, so I'm going to take out the dinner. Go ahead and grab your portion while I get the serving platter out, okay?"

Morio blinked at him, coming down from whatever inspirational haze he'd fallen into, "Yeah, right. I think I'm going to take my dinner over to sensei's room, see if he's still awake. I need a sounding board and Kyron needs to be sleeping."

"Well, after this dinner, I'll be there to be your sounding board if your advisor isn't awake," Rin offered, dishing out the plates as Morio started to shuffle away.

Grinning, Morio called back, "Spend the night with your old friends, Rin! You deserve that much. But take it back to their dorms, yeah? I've got to practice that presentation with Karin." Rin threw a towel at him, but he dodged out of the way, laughing as he carried his dinner over to the teachers' quarters. Kuro leapt after the rag, pouncing on it and gnawing contentedly on it.

Smiling, Rin grabbed the platters in each arm, one balanced precariously on his tail, "Ready Kuro? Could you get your bowl in your mouth and that cracker bowl on your head or something, like – oh, yep, like that. Look at you. Those are some skills right there. They should train demons in acrobatics. Would you want to learn acrobatics? No! Don't nod, Kuro! Ha, yeah, that works too. Maybe we can talk to Headmistress Hana about something like that. It'd be fun. I think Eimi would like to try it, too. She likes doing stuff like that."

He was still caught up in his conversation with Kuro when he entered the dining hall where his friends were waiting. He didn't look up until he was at the table. Rin blanched a little bit at the full attention of all of the exwires.

Forcing the instinctual nervousness back down, Rin tried to recapture the easy feeling he'd gotten when talking with Kuro. They were his friends. It was just like talking to Kuro or any of the other demons. He'd talked to most of them on their own before anyways. Talking to the whole group like this would be fine.

Predictably, Shima broke the silence, "Are you going to set the food down? I'm hungry!"

Konekomaru instantly kicked Shima, apologizing sincerely for his breach in etiquette even as the rest of the table sighed in annoyance.

Thankfully, though, that was exactly the sort of opening that Rin needed to kickstart his brain. What was he doing? He could handle this. They were just people. They'd grown from their mistakes, the same way he had.

Taking a deep breath, Rin gave them a goofy smile, telling Konekomaru, "It's alright! I just zoned out for a moment there. Here we go." He carefully set out the plates, pausing to grab the one still delicately balanced on Kuro's head, setting that in the middle of the table. Thankfully, this school liked to use round tables to encourage discussion and the ideal of equality. Or something like that. Rin wasn't entirely listening. Either way, it made it easier to put dishes in the middle of the table without having to have people passing it up and down the line of people.

Yukio said politely, "Thank you for the meal, niisan."

"Of course!" Rin beamed, "Like I told those three last night, it's great cooking for you guys again. I hope you guys like it."

"You could make toast and I'd like it, Okumura," Shura complimented through her bite of the meal. She'd dug in without waiting for anyone to sit down and without waiting saying proper thanks. It was comforting to know that something like that hadn't changed.

The rest waited until Rin sat down before they said, almost as one, "Itadakimasu."

For a long moment, the only sounds were the brief noises of pleasure at the taste of Rin's food, a couple of compliments pushed through food-laden mouths. Rin _flourished_ under the compliments. He loved making people happy with his cooking. It was such a wholesome feeling. Food really was the language of peace. At least, that's how he thought about it. And it certainly seemed true most of the time.

Eventually, though, eating slowed and conversation started. Shiemi started it, tentatively commenting, "That was really good, Rin. Was it hard to make?"

Rin smiled, "Not too hard, no. The sauce was just kind of finicky."

"It's fancier than what you made us last night," Yukio commented idly, still tucking away huge mouthfuls of Rin's cooking, obviously not worried about his image when his brother's cooking was sitting in front of him.

Rin just shrugged, not saying anything to confirm or deny it. Briefly, the conversation died again. Rin was still searching for some sort of opening when Konekomaru mused idly, "I like working at the outpost. I thought it was going to be a menial task, but there is a lot more to do there than I thought there would be. A lot of the higher-ups at the outpost have to decide who goes on which mission. They have to take gathered information and use it to create an accurate picture of a situation they haven't even seen. It seems like a fun challenge."

Suguro raised an eyebrow, "Would you rather get put there for your two years training period or would you rather be a teacher?"

Konekomaru's eyebrows bunched together before he decided, "The outpost. I quite liked it, honestly. I'm not sure I could handle a classroom full of students."

"I'd take the teacher position any day of the week," Shima said around a mouthful of food, "I'd be the cool teacher, too. Everyone would think I was awesome. I'm sure I could get a bunch of hot chicks to fall all over the cool teacher…"

Kamiki rolled her eyes, "The outpost is a better situation no matter how you look at it." A moment later, her eyes widened, and she blushed prettily, "Ah, sorry, Okumura sensei."

Yukio glanced at her mildly, causing her to gulp. He sighed and said, "It made more sense for me to be teaching at the school since I also had to attend the high school classes." Rin inwardly laughed as some of the others frowned at the reminder that Yukio was the same age as them and was, in fact, going to school just like them. It must be strange for them to be in classes with him while he taught them during cram school. It must be especially strange to think of him as their age when he was so stoic and sarcastic all the time. He seemed like an unmovable fortress. If Rin didn't get to see him being silly (on accident or on purpose) back at the dorm, he'd probably be just as shaken by Yukio's impressive adult-attitude.

"Would you have preferred the outpost?" Shiemi asked curiously, eyes wide.

Suddenly uncomfortable with the attention (or, maybe, just by being addressed by his long-term crush), Yukio stuttered, "Well, I, uh, never got to try out different types. I am not sure which I would have preferred. It seems strange to think of myself in the outpost now that I've been teaching for so long."

Shima picked the conversation back up again, "Did you teach or work at the outpost, Kirigakure sensei?"

She belched, making Kamiki, who was sitting next to her, wrinkle her nose. After she took one more swig from whatever she was drinking, Shura shrugged effortlessly and said, "I was a teacher. Why do you think I have all those presentations ready? I certainly didn't make them this year. I've spent too much of it chasing after you guys to have possibly made them recently." The group sent each other looks of painful understanding in remembrance of the 'presentations' Shura had put on for them. They had been barely coherent and mostly consisted of her sprawled out over the desk, mumbling nonsense into the tabletop. She only pulled out the presentations when she was particularly hammered. Otherwise, she did rather great improvised lessons that had surprised a lot of the exwires with their usefulness and easy practicality.

Yukio quietly nudged his knee against Rin's talking quietly under the buzz of conversation taking place with the other members of the table, "You've been pretty quiet. You alright?"

"I'm fine," Rin answered, just as quietly, "Just… adjusting. I don't know. Your relationships are different now. I'm just… seeing where I fit into that." He was doing a lot better with this dinner thing than he'd expected. Sure, he wasn't really talking all that much, but that wasn't surprising for him anymore. He'd learned to just sit back and observe a little bit more. A lot of his bluster and bravado had been a deflection technique more than anything. He didn't need to deflect from anything now, so he could just… be. Sure, he could be just as happy and boisterous as he'd been before – he didn't change _that_ much – but there were also times where he was just quiet and observant.

"You'll always fit in with us, niisan. You know that, right?" Yukio asked, eyes worried beneath his glasses.

Rin gave him a crooked grin, "Yeah, I know that. At least, I do now." Yukio gave him a slightly hesitant but mostly genuine smile, prompting Rin to give him one in return.

"Oi!" Shura called, interrupting the moment, "Listen when people are talking to you!"

"Don't interrupt a conversation!" Rin shouted back, tail whipping up in protest behind him.

Shura smirked at me, "What are you going to do with that thing? Fluff me to death?"

"It's not fluffy!" Rin gasped, offended, "It's… it's…"

"Furry?" Shima offered.

"Yes! No! Tha-that's almost worst!" Rin groaned, dramatically clutching his head, "It's fearsome! I have a terrifying tail! It strikes fear into my enemies! Right, Kuro?" In a rare moment of disconnect (or maybe it was intentional sabotage), Kuro just started purring and rubbing at Rin's shins again. The half-demon groaned, plopping his head down onto the table. The whole group laughed joyously. He wouldn't know until he talked about it with Yukio days later, but they'd all been waiting to see some sort of sign of his former self, of the friend they'd gotten to know.

Conversation continued to flow around them, wrapping them in a comfortable atmosphere that did more for Rin than he could have ever imagined. How could he have ever been scared of doing this? Sure, there was still a slick coil of fear wrapped around his heart, but he'd grown almost used to that feeling by now. It was something to work on.

For now, though? He was sitting with the students from True Cross and they were accepting him completely, demon attributes and all. They were supportive, bright, and happy. It buoyed his own self-confidence, giving him a sense of security in himself that he hadn't thought he'd achieve for a long time.

Things weren't back to normal, but… normal hadn't really been a good thing. Normal had been Rin slowly suffocating under layers of lies and deceit that constantly ate at him. Then normal had become Rin losing… everything to the swirl of negative emotions constantly battering him. He never wanted to feel that way again.

But this was different. And it was better, purer. It was untainted by too many lies and too little mutual understanding. It was fresh from a healing time separated. It was… it was the friendship he had dreamed of having with these people.

Because finally, _finally_ they were trying to see what was behind blue eyes.

 **Author's Note; And there we have it. I'm not sure how I feel about the ending? I think I like it, but you'll have to let me know what you think!**


End file.
